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We Read A Strip Club Earnings Report To Learn Its Coronavirus Strategy!

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

We like reading earnings reports of public companies to dig deep for entertaining facts amid boooooring accounting information.

Which made us wonder today: “What steps are a major strip club operator taking during coronavirus?”

We’ve all seen the emails from companies assuring us that we will be safe during the virus. A hotel chain has virus-free remote control cozies and new breakfast buffet safety enhancements? Tell us more!

Disappointed by the hotel’s information, we checked out the latest earnings report of RCI Hospitality Holdings Inc., owner of strip clubs like Rick’s Cabaret, and a restaurant chain by the name of “Bombshells.”

Here is an excerpt from the report:

“As part of our COVID-19 plan, RCI and its subsidiaries instituted the following measures to significantly reduce cash outlays…”

What is this strip club owner COVID-19 plan going to be? Replacing staff with made-in-Japan robot companion holograms? We can’t wait to find out… let’s see what made the list…

“[We] Canceled certain additional expenses such as advertising, cable, and pest control, among others”

The company cancelled its cable and pest control. What will the rats watch on TV?

Since rats have never spread disease in history, we declare cancelling “pest control” to be a winning COVID plan to reassure patrons to return to a restaurant establishment that may have semi-nude people.

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