Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone who was completely opposite then you are? You like loud music, they like peace and quiet, you’re the social butterfly, they like to hold the corner spot in the room, you’re organized chaos and neat & tidy is their middle name. You’re the star of the freak show in the bedroom and well, you’ve simply nick named them Missionary Barry. You begin to wonder what is it that you have in common and better yet why you’re so attracted to this person. You find yourself attracted to this person like a moth to a flame and feel some type of magnetic energy putting you together. Well as the saying goes opposites do attract but a better question is will the attraction last? I think at some point major personality differences will surface and how you handle the differences mainly depends on if you’re willing to look pass the differences to find a common ground.
I googled the phrase “do opposites attract” and there were several articles that were written by psychologists along with research analyst conducted on this topic. I browsed through some of it, but of course, none caught my interest. I’m not much of a scientific fact person; I like real life experiences and examples, not percentages and ratios. I’m crossed eyed just by looking at all the numbers that go into the research and trust me, crossed-eyed is not pretty at all. So I decided to skip all the research data and write what I know to be true. I have seen people who were totally opposite come together and make it work. I have also seen people come together and all hell breaks loose. I think that people can come together who are totally different but just as with any relationship it takes work and in some cases you can balance each other out. For example, I’m generally all over the place, my mind is in constant overload and I’m generally the organized chaos that I mentioned above. I’ve taken piano lessons, tap dance, sewing lessons, went to cosmetology school, nursing school, got a degree in accounting, working on a second degree in public relations and may very well get a third. I have so many interest that I can’t keep up with myself sometimes. I’m not a stickler for the rules, I like to come and go as I please and can’t be easily controlled. So I think I could actually benefit from being with someone who is slightly more grounded who could provide me with the voice of reason while I provide you with a little bit more excitement and adventure. As long as your relational, financial, and long term goals align you can work together to find a mutual understanding of each other.
The bottom line is being totally opposite isn’t always a bad thing depending on the two people. The problems start when you try to change someone, some people simply forget that their differences is what attracted you to them in the first place and then turn around try to change the very thing you loved about them. If you fell in love with someone’s outgoing personality, two years later it shouldn’t be problem, as you accepted that part of them when you entered into a relationship. No one should ever settle if you know from the beginning that person lacks a major quality that you’re looking for then it makes no sense to pursue anything. When someone tells you they don’t want kids or their not into family gatherings, etc. …you better believe that shit and don’t expect their answer to be different a few months down the road. You can’t change anyone and you shouldn’t change who you are for anyone.
Every day I read quotes like “opposites attract”, “like attracts like”, and “birds of a feather flock together”. By the time you finish reading all the damn quotes about relationships and love you’ll be crossed eyed, crazy, and confused. So in closing, if you find someone who treats you well remember there’s more than one way of doing anything and just because you’re slightly different doesn’t mean things won’t work out. You can change almost anything except fate, no matter what your differences are if it is meant to be it simply will be. In the long run you may actually find that you’re not so different after all because the one thing that you do have in common is you’re crazy about each other.
