Dating Magazine

Virtual Relationships: Notre Dame Linebacker Catfished

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

virtual relationshipsIt must’ve been my strong intuition that made me post about Catfish on Monday. Yesterday the story broke that supposedly dead girlfriend of Notre Dame Linebacker Manti T’eo never existed. Apparently, he developed a deep emotional relationship with this woman he met online. She was supposedly a Stanford student who died of Leukemia a few hours after his grandmother passed. What a tearjerker! It was later discovered that this lady never existed. It is yet to be determined if Manti T’eo knew before this week that he was the victim of what appears to be an internet hoax. What is the deal with these virtual relationships? Someone please tell me how being with someone through an online chat forum is in any way romantic? Enquiring minds want to know!

When I posted on Monday about Catching a Catfish, I shared my story of how people mislead others using the internet. I neglected to give tips on how to determine if you’re actually being victimized online. Due to the recent surge of searches for the term “how to tell if you’re being catfished”, I decided to share some tips and advice for communicating with someone online.

Profile check up

People with real active social media profiles update information and pictures regularly. Pictures say a lot on a profile. If you meet someone and months has passed with no picture updates. That a big ass red flag! People with active real social media accounts add pictures often. Look at the wall post and some of their friends profiles. Do all the pictures look like model or stock photos? Are friends tagged? Do the comments on their page suggested that they know this person and they have hung out? These are details you have to pay attention to.

Internet detective

I have no problem googling people and you shouldn’t either. A real person will turn up some hits even if it’s just something minimal. You can use Google images to scan a photo to see where that photo has been used online. It really does work, I used one of my own images and Google brought up every website I used that image on. If this person claims they work for a certain organization, you can find the number to call. Just ask for the person and wait for the response you get and hang up. This should only be done if you’ve been communicating with someone for a certain amount of time and you find your feelings are getting serious. If you meet someone online today; don’t call their job Monday!

Meet Quick, Fast, and In a Hurry

All bullshit aside, if someone is into you as much as you’re into them they will meet you. There will be no bullshit excuses, no lies, and no far-fetched ass emergencies. They will be just as eager to meet you as you are to meet them. Both parties will work hard to make it happen. It makes no sense to develop some emotional attachment to someone who you haven’t met face to face. If you’re not in a position to travel right away, ask to Skype. Using Skype should not be a problem!

Personally, I think that a virtual relationship in no way replaces real human interaction. But apparently others feel differently. I offer the following suggestions if you find yourself exploring the option of a virtual relationship.

Do not form any type of emotional bond with someone hundreds of miles away unless you can afford the cost associated with dating someone long distance….it is NOT easy and it is NOT cheap! Why? Because in the end you end up miserable because you can’t see this person at all. It is not fun longing to be with someone who can’t be there! Who wants to go through that?

I don’t know about the next person but I happen to like sex; frequently! On top of being miserable because the person is not physically here. You’re now reduced to being miserable and horny! NO THANK YOU! You may want to think about this!

Have a wonderful weekend and go find a human to hug!

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