Health Magazine

Vaginismus: A Dirty Little Secret?

By Painfreesex @painfreesex
So...who knows you have vaginismus? It's hardly a conversation starter

"Mum...I have something to tell you..."

Vaginismus: A dirty little secret?

"Have you seen the new Bond film? Because when I watched it I had vaginismus"

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with V..."

"I've never had a one night stand because no one can get inside me. Tea, anyone?" 

"Red room of pain? Is that a euphemism for my vagina?" 

And the response may vary

"You have what???"

"Is that an STD?"

"Oh right, ermmmm...yeah..." *quietly leaves the room*


"The flu is quite bad this time of year, hope you're feeling better in a few days" 

Who to you tell: the options 

Mum- Awkward (unless you're close, if so, great)

Dad- Beyond Awkward

Brother/Sister- Well worth considering, if you trust each other.

Eccentric Aunt (because everybody has one)- possibly not. 


All your other friends- be discerning because people like to gossip. 

Work colleagues- Not unless you want it to come up at next year's Christmas party.

Health professionals- Definitely (see previous post).

Strangers- an unlikely choice, but sometimes it's easier to share things with people you don't know as opposed to people you do know. Online forums put you in touch with women going through the same thing and are a great place for honest conversations and support. 

Partner- the one person who is affected the most (apart from yourself) by vaginismus should definitely be informed. If you trust each other and want your bond to deepen, sharing your vag-centric world with a partner can only bring much-needed solace. 

Why: the rationale behind opening up (in more ways...)

As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. 

Opening up is embarrassing and painful, a bit like vaginismus, but people sometimes surprise you. You expect them not to understand, but they do. You're sure they will walk away, but they stay, not just that they go on to encourage you, challenge your insecurities about yourself and show you that an uncooperative vagina isn't the end of the world. Vaginismus shouldn't be a dirty little secret because it's not your fault and there is nothing to feel guilty about. 

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

Paperblog Hot Topics