Therealbarman
This is me sipping bourbon, or it might be iced tea after the ice all melted, I can't really remember. I have two kids and a wife and two cats even though I like dogs a jillion times more. I tell bar stories and I entertain and some people might say I'm more awesome than juggling chain saws on fire. I never heard anyone say that, but it's possible. Cheers.
The RB
MY BLOGS
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TheRealBarman
http://TheRealBarman.com/
Welcome to TheRealBarman. I am a real bartender from the East Bay, CA who is fluent in nightlife, BS, and everything related to the bartending industry. I love to share bar stories and chat about anything and everything that relates to fun and and usually immature topics. And chasing shiny things. I like chasing shiny things.
LATEST ARTICLES ( 170 )
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Bar Etiquette: How to Keep the Bartender Happy
Occupational hazards are a way of life no matter your profession: doctors are required to be in the presence of the sick and dying, construction workers are on... Read more
Posted on 13 August 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
My Vasectomy Experience: A Guide for Men
The decision to stop at two kids was an easy one for my wife and me. We had a boy and a girl, and we were pretty darn sure that having only two meant we could... Read more
Posted on 07 August 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Bar Facilitator
DON’T BE THIS GUY!After last weekend, I’m seriously considering enforcing the use of shock collars for certain clientele. It’s not the first time that a man... Read more
Posted on 28 July 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Bartending Schools: The Real Truth From TheRealBarman
WILL BARTENDING SCHOOLS HELP GET YOU BEHIND THE BAR? DON’T COUNT ON IT!As I take on this ever-increasing (and quite frankly, unexpected) role of helping people... Read more
Posted on 28 July 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Man Quiz: Test Your Testosterone
If you’re a guy, one of your favorite things to do is ridicule other guys for the things they choose to indulge in if those things aren’t manly enough. Read more
Posted on 20 July 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Spiderman: Superhero Or Satan-Worshiper?
Forgive me because I’m not sure this can’t even be classified as a real post, and I might end up in a straight jacket rolling around a padded room for... Read more
Posted on 16 July 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Martini Identity Crisis
“The martini is the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.”-H.L. MenckenIn 1996 I was visiting my sister and her family on a night when Mike Tyson was... Read more
Posted on 10 July 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Where the Wild Things Are (The Lost Version)
The night max wore his liesure suit and planned mischief of one kindand anothera woman at the bar called him wild thing and max said, “I’ll feel you up! Read more
Posted on 02 July 2012 SELF EXPRESSION -
The Best (Worst) Pick-up Lines Ever
I think we can all agree that pick-up lines are copyrighted, patented and only to be used with the express written consent of Douchebags, Inc. Read more
Posted on 29 June 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Rise of the Lake People
If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I went camping this past week (yes, the barman gets time off too, you know) at Collins Lake near Oregon House, CA. Read more
Posted on 25 June 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
How to Become a Bartender
THIS IS ME CONCENTRATING ON MAKING THE PERFECT COCKTAIL, OR I’M POSSIBLY THINKING ABOUT CHURROS BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE CHURROS. Read more
Posted on 08 June 2012 CAREER, DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
10 Things You Are Certain to Do When You’re Wasted!
1. Lose your hearing. Either that or you become extremely nearsighted because when you are wasted, you will shout at someone standing two feet away from you as... Read more
Posted on 05 June 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Duane the Mixologist
MY NAME IS DUANE AND I LOVE MY LEMON ZESTER SO MUCH I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH IT.Hello, my name is Duane. I am a mixologist. People call me Duane the mixologist. Read more
Posted on 30 May 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Bourne Mis-Identity
When I was born a terrible mistake was made and God failed to include enough common sense and logic in my DNA to allow me to think and function like a normal... Read more
Posted on 25 May 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Hook Me Up Mr. Bartender
I just love when people come into my bar looking for a deal. Just so there’s no confusion, there are no clearance items. This is not Sears or JCPenny and I am... Read more
Posted on 22 May 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
TheRealBarman Voted Best Bartender in the Bay Area by Some Drunk Guy Who Likes t...
Finally, after all these years I’ve received the recognition I deserve. This guy told me last night that I was the best bartender in the Bay Area. Read more
Posted on 20 May 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Misguided Wave
At the beginning of my shift last night I looked up and saw a girl across the bar whole-heartedly waving and smiling at me, and even though I didn’t quite... Read more
Posted on 18 May 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Screwing With Drunk People
I’m not sure why, but lately I’ve become more irritable about the fact that I spend five nights a week in a place where I’m sober and everyone else is flying... Read more
Posted on 16 May 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Drunk Talk of the Week – Til Death Do Us Part
A husband and wife were sitting at my bar this weekend when I overheard this conversation. I was drinking a water at the time and almost snorted it through my... Read more
Posted on 14 May 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Dear PETA, Can I Please Join Your Extremist Group?
ANGRY PETA GIRLI love animals. Probably because they boost my self-esteem and don’t judge me when I eat an entire cheese cake or watch porn. Read more
Posted on 08 May 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION