Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• Well It’s Not Like I Signed Up For It

  I have friends who aren’t sure, exactly, if they’ve ever seen a cold sore. This amazes me, as I’m pretty sure that everyone in my family – and we’re counting th... Read more

  Posted on 07 April 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Go Jump In The River

  T shouldn’t have even brought it up, but it was too late now, he could see that. Because in his mind’s eye, his boss was already jumping. Kevin pulls over and... Read more

  Posted on 06 April 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Weird? Me? No. Why Do You Ask?

  A re-post, as I work on my next book... I had occasion to ride the Number 10 the other day.And right there, I think you can tell where this is heading, can’t... Read more

  Posted on 02 April 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Have You Brought Enough for Everyone? Huh?

  You know the story. A man cannot get over how small his apartment is. In the kitchen, he can stir what’s on the stove, wash the dishes, and check the contents o... Read more

  Posted on 01 April 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Yet When He Closes His Eyes, He Dreams

  He is a large man, not just for the bus, but for anywhere. The back of his head, the set of his shoulders, speak of Vikings and lumberjacks. Read more

  Posted on 31 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Minneapolis, Late Saturday Night

  

  The bus has taken on a warm, smoky glow. “My name is Louis,” the bus driver had said. “Drunk women call me Louie. And I don’t mind at all. “There’s only one rul... Read more

  Posted on 30 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• There Should Be Protocols

  A repeat from 2014. Oh, how I miss Tamra! “There should be a protocol,” she stresses. “There are reasonable expectations associated with the bus! Read more

  Posted on 27 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Maybe I'll Just Lay Down for A Bit...

  You may not know this to look at me, but at one point I was capable of sleeping well into the early afternoon. O, how I miss those days. Read more

  Posted on 26 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• It's Like Capistrano Up in Here; Or One of the First Signs of Spring

  I’m on the 1:26 bus out of downtown Minneapolis, a much earlier bus than I normally take. And these are not my people. I sit, as I always do, near the back, jus... Read more

  Posted on 24 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• And For the Finale, I'll Be Dropping a Television into the Bath Tub

  When I woke up this morning, my front door was frozen shut. After being teased with reasonably spring-like temperatures, the disappearance of 99. Read more

  Posted on 23 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Old Habits Die Hard; Or Dolly Picks the Wildcats for the Win

  

  At the end of a long day, one often spent figuratively chained to a corporation, I find it refreshing to arrive home in time to find one’s pet at the kitchen... Read more

  Posted on 20 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• When You Buys You One, You Gets You Two; Or Public Transportation, AKA The...

  6:42 a.m.: the heat wave in our immediate future, the one that will have me standing tomorrow at the bus stop, like a rich person, in 44 glorious degrees of... Read more

  Posted on 19 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Well It WAS Called a HoJo...

  “I’m starting to have feelings about this gal,” I say. Mary leans over the railing and peers into the dark of a heavy Florida night. She jerks her chin toward... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Crocheting: More on Your Hands Than Just Time

  

  I spent a good deal of time Sunday sitting on the couch, a cat-abused ball of increasingly kinked yarn on the floor, a J crochet hook clutched in my right hand. Read more

  Posted on 17 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Good-Bye Joe, Me Gotta Go, Me Oh My Oh

  Liza Bean Bitey – of the Minneapolis Biteys – a delightfully small-pawed cat with a penchant for umbrella-ed drinks; tiny dollops of cream presented on... Read more

  Posted on 16 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Seasonal Amnesia

  You’re gonna wanna hold on to your hats – and any other bits of clothing that tend to fly off when you’re excited – but I have something new to report. Also –... Read more

  Posted on 13 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• And His Shoes Make Him Run Faster and Jump Higher, Too

  You remember my friend T, right? The man who believes almost every woman he sees is beautiful? The man whose sudden and pert-near evangelical love of his lawn... Read more

  Posted on 12 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Just How Many Times Did I Hit That Snooze, Anyway?

  It’s dark again. Not in that delightful what’s-the-point-all-is-lost way that I sometimes have, but in a literal, pupil-widening way that is thrust upon us ever... Read more

  Posted on 11 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Mom Said They Couldn't Take Him Back

  You got time for a quick story? Ahem. My last official purchase whilst still living at my parents’ house – and the mode by which I left it – was a 1968 Ford... Read more

  Posted on 10 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• On Keeping My Eyes Open

  

  I was very small. “You have to keep your eyes open,” she said. I assured my grandma that I would. “Not everything is what it appears to be, but His eyes are... Read more

  Posted on 09 March 2015 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION