Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• In Case It's a Three-Dog Night; Or, I Worry About Your State of Preparedness

  ave you winterized your car yet?Oh, sure. Everyone knows about winter-weight oil, about checking your tires and replacing your windshield wipers; but have you... Read more

  Posted on 16 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Third Round Involves Answering Using Helium-Balloon Voices

  I’ve got a great idea for a game show, one I’ve patterned on my life and the lives of the people around me. I’m quite sure that this is, as we say in... Read more

  Posted on 15 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Good-Bye, Joe, Me Gotta Go, Me-Oh-My-Oh

  It's all Bitey, all the time!In celebration of my recently published book "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats", a re-post from early 2011, when the air was... Read more

  Posted on 14 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Have You Considered Picking Up a Nice Bit of String?

  My book "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" became available yesterday. Why not buy a couple?! Tales of mystery, of cats with dental problems and gambling... Read more

  Posted on 13 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Really Gotta Start Paying More Attention

  My book "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" became available yesterday. Why not buy a couple?! Tales of mystery, of cats with dental problems and gambling... Read more

  Posted on 12 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Still Can’t Listen to That Piece of Music

  My book "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" becomes available today. Why not buy a couple?! Tales of mystery, of cats with dental problems and gambling... Read more

  Posted on 11 December 2012 SELF EXPRESSION

• Fuzzy Rears His Stripe-ed Head; Or Hey! It’s Hard to Tell a Story in 400 Words O...

  I sip carefully at my gin and tonic. Drinking with a cat is no small matter. The last time I failed to take this into consideration I found myself singing... Read more

  Posted on 28 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• What the Woman and the Cat at the Next Table Are Talking About, Or I Hope They’v...

  By the time I get to Psycho Suzi’s, the cat is half-way through her second drink.“Pearl!” she bawls. I smile. Pink-faced and sweating under the hooded sleeping... Read more

  Posted on 27 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• It’s Not Commonly Known, But Cats Are Excellent Cooks

  I awaken to the sound of the deadbolt being moved.I am processing this thought when two, and then four paws, land on my pillow. “Pearl. Pearl.”I should’ve... Read more

  Posted on 26 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Why, That Woman Has the Bearing of a Young Bea Arthur

  I was asked, the other day, to pick out something I really liked about me.Where to start?Is it my outrageous earning capacity? My love of the drunken... Read more

  Posted on 25 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• You! Over There! You Will Amuse Me Now...

  People have asked me how I can find something to write about every day.Sometimes, I wonder that myself.And that got me thinking.Where does inspiration come from? Read more

  Posted on 24 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Woman Screamed Hello

  I have been on the receiving end, if you’ll excuse the expression, of a rash of butt-dialings.You are aware of the term “butt-dialing”, yes? Read more

  Posted on 23 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Pierce Would Like You to Move Along? He Has, Like, Things to Do?

  A re-post, as I'm a bit busy. Please enjoy this moment with Mary and Pearl...I go through a pair of black flats every year. Humble, dedicated shoes, they are... Read more

  Posted on 22 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Lean to the Left! Lean to the Right! Stand Up Sit Down Fight Fight Fight!; Or...

  I took part in a three-hour yoga/boot camp charity event Sunday, an experience for which I paid $20.The heat was hot; the bending was terrific; and at one... Read more

  Posted on 21 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The First 14 Days of the Atkins, with Foreword by Vincent Price

  You know, when Pearl asked me to write a little something, I had to ask her if she realized that I’ve been dead for quite some time. Read more

  Posted on 20 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Know All Kinds of Stuff. Just Ask Me.

  It might not be apparent in looking at me now, but I used to know exactly what was going on. Why, I remember being 18 years old and being absolutely convinced... Read more

  Posted on 19 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hot Cheeks at Party

  

  I went out last night, entirely neglecting to write. You believe that?! Please enjoy a little something from last year, when I was remembering my 2010 Misfit... Read more

  Posted on 17 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• You Want My Fries?

  I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables lately.And I’ve stopped lurking about in doorways.Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Week Two of the Atkins and Week Three o... Read more

  Posted on 16 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Tiny Bits Glued Together to Form the Semblance of a Whole

  A post from 2009, I believe it was, re-written because I liked the original but thought I could do better...As is common with me, a couple of things happen in... Read more

  Posted on 15 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• One Never Really Finishes the Laundry, Anyway

  Dolly Gee Squeakers has burrowed her way into a tunnel of pants, socks, and tee-shirts.Like many of us, Dolly, a long-hair Siamese/badger mix, a cat with a... Read more

  Posted on 14 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION