Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• Remember When There Wasn’t All This Hacking?

  

  I recently received a message saying that my email account "has been implicated in a security breach." After I calmed down and stopped pacing around with my... Read more

  Posted on 29 November 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Happy Thanksgiving

  

  What I remember most about Thanksgiving is having a school assignment that was due the day after Thanksgiving break. Why do they make things due the day after... Read more

  Posted on 24 November 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Vote to Leave the European Union and Not Regret It?

  Two weeks ago the United Kingdom voted in a referendum to leave the European Union. It was a close vote and was based on a lot of false claims and promises tha... Read more

  Posted on 10 July 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Robots Did Not Pull Publicity Stunts?

  On the afternoon of Tuesday, June 14, 2016, in the Russian Federation city of Perm, a robot named Promobot escaped from the laboratory where it was created.... Read more

  Posted on 03 July 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Tax Evasion Wasn’t So Trendy?

  The firm's managing partner was not having a good spring. Every day there was another story about Mossack Fonseca and the Panama Papers, and generally making ba... Read more

  Posted on 27 June 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Greeting Cards Were Affordable?

  "And when I'm elected President of the United States," the candidate said to the adoring crowd, pounding the podium with every word, "I'm going to take on... Read more

  Posted on 19 June 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Genes Could Not Be Driven?

  Gene driving, or "Operation Mosquito" as it was originally known by insiders, is the changing or elimination of a species by changing its genes. When this... Read more

  Posted on 12 June 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Have a Private Email Server?

  I am going to make a confession right now. When I was a cashier at 7-11 one summer years Edit Edit date and time ago, I had a private email server. There, I sai... Read more

  Posted on 04 June 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Liked Gluten?

  The Scheisskopf Gluten Company was not having a good quarter. None of the recent quarters had been good. Brayden Scheisskopf, the current president, sat in his... Read more

  Posted on 09 February 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Presidential Campaigns Did Not Go On Forever?

  Presidential campaigns were going on forever. No sooner would one president be sworn in than people would already start talking about the next president. It... Read more

  Posted on 01 February 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Proofread?

  

  Today I have not written a post.  Instead, I have posted a graphic from Grammarly in honor of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), the annual contest... Read more

  Posted on 18 November 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When It Was Safe to Eat Processed Meat?

  

  The President of the Happy Swine Processed Meat Company was not having one of his better days. He sat at his desk, atop which stood an anthropomorphic plastic... Read more

  Posted on 30 October 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Couldn’t Reconstruct a Rat Brain?

  

  The day we all knew was coming is finally here. Scientists have reconstructed a rat's brain. I immediately phoned my research assistant. "Are you reading... Read more

  Posted on 20 October 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Didn’t Grow Plants on Their Heads?

  

  I cannot believe that this blog is five years old. I’ll never know what moved me that day to write a few hundred words about the early 90s show Beavis and... Read more

  Posted on 12 October 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Didn’t Grow Plants on Their Heads?

  

  I was just settling down to another day at the office when I happened upon the startling news about a trend in China of people wearing plastic flowers on their... Read more

  Posted on 12 October 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Had Never Heard of a Leap Second?

  Today at around 8:00 p.m. everyone received an extra second. Scientists do this every now and again to make up for the wobble in the Earth's rotation. ... Read more

  Posted on 01 July 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Had Never Heard of a Leap Second?

  Today at around 8:00 p.m. everyone received an extra second.  Scientists do this every now and again to make up for the wobble in the Earth’s rotation. ... Read more

  Posted on 01 July 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Couldn’t Get a Head Transplant?

  Last month a doctor said that he was planning to undertake the world's first head transplant. The operation is as simple as it sounds. Take the head of one... Read more

  Posted on 01 June 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Couldn’t Get a Head Transplant?

  Last month a doctor said that he was planning to undertake the world’s first head transplant.  The operation is as simple as it sounds.  Take the head of one... Read more

  Posted on 01 June 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Devil Dogs

  Fish - Vegan - Vegetarian - Gluten Free Putting People before Profits Socially Conscious and Environmentally Responsible. The Fine Art of Balancing... Read more

  Posted on 26 March 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE