Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• Songs In My Head

  The doctor's schedule was full, I was told, but after some pleading the doctor agreed to see me on his lunch hour. "So what seems to be the problem?" the... Read more

  Posted on 19 March 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• A Dream

  One night, many years ago, I dreamt that I was in a dark forest. Suddenly a little ball of light came from behind one of the large oaks. As the ball of light... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2015 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Shopping on Black Friday?

  The CEO took a few deep breaths and repeated his mantra silent to himself, and then addressed the shareholders.“Esteemed shareholders, I know that our Black... Read more

  Posted on 01 December 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Shopping on Black Friday?

  The CEO took a few deep breaths and repeated his mantra silent to himself, and then addressed the shareholders. "Esteemed shareholders, I know that our Black... Read more

  Posted on 30 November 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Read Poems on Halloween?

  

  In honor of All Hallows’ Eve, I’m posting a totally awesome poem that is totally in the public domain.  It is called “Goblin Market” by Christina Georgina... Read more

  Posted on 31 October 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Smallpox?

  I read in an article (“Resurrecting Smallpox? Easier Than You Think”) that the smallpox virus that killed about a billion humans and almost as many characters i... Read more

  Posted on 20 October 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Send a Spaceship to Mars for Only $75 Million?

  

  So I’m sure you’ve heard by now of the orbiter that India sent to Mars for only $75 million, and seen it compared to the U.S. Mars orbiter that cost $672... Read more

  Posted on 17 October 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Big Announcement

  Instead of writing something that purports to be funny, I want to let you know about a website that I’ve been visiting recently. It is called The Issue Box.... Read more

  Posted on 14 October 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the Internet Was Anonymous?

  Today marks four years since I started this blog. Seems like just yesterday. Thank you all who have read this blog and taken the time to comment. Read more

  Posted on 12 October 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Your School Got Its Own Tank?

  

  I’m sure you’ve all heard by now of the school district that obtained an armored vehicle – actually, a Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle or MRAP if you... Read more

  Posted on 23 September 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the World Cup Wasn’t On?

  I was walking down the street, with my headphones on, listening to Sir John Gielgud’s performance of the “To Be, Or Not To Be” soliloquy from Hamlet. Read more

  Posted on 01 July 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Did Not Put Pictures of Their Kids on Facebook?

  The young man lounged on the psychologist’s chair, looked up at the ceiling, and exhaled.“I just couldn’t believe my parents would have put pictures of me on... Read more

  Posted on 01 June 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Virtual Reality Was More Virtual Than Reality?

  

  Facebook’s Director of Newfangled Operations was sitting at his desk, reading reviews on Yelp for a good place to get turkey salad. An assistant knocked at his... Read more

  Posted on 05 April 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember the Cold War?

  Is it East versus West Or man against man? Survivor, “Burning Heart” Rocky IV Soundtrack (Volcano Records, 1985)The President of the United States wasn’t... Read more

  Posted on 28 March 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Extinction Was Permanent?

  I read in the newspaper that scientists have figured out how to bring back extinct animals like passenger pigeons and woolly mammoths. So filled with... Read more

  Posted on 01 March 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Privacy?

  The Director called a general staff meeting.  All hands on deck.  He gave everyone a few minutes to grab coffee and bring it into the conference room.“All right... Read more

  Posted on 24 January 2014 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Delivery By Drones Was Not Within the Realm of the Possibile?

  The assistant walked into the big office.  “Sir,” he began.  “I – ”“Hold on.  Here, look at this screen.  Our drones cover 75% of the U.S. airspace.  Isn’t... Read more

  Posted on 31 December 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the Affordable Care Act Wasn’t In the News Every Day?

  

  The Director knew it was time for a staff meeting.“All right, everyone. The deadline’s almost here. The President’s promised a smoothly functioning healthcare... Read more

  Posted on 30 November 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the Government Wasn’t Shut Down?

  

  Wow. This blog is three years old.“Okay everyone,” the tour guide said to the travelers on the bus. “I know that our itinerary says that we’re supposed to see... Read more

  Posted on 11 October 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• The Yom Kippur Post

  When I was a kid I was in awe of my parents and grandparents who had the privilege of fasting on Yom Kippur.“Believe me,” said my grandfather, “it’s no... Read more

  Posted on 14 September 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE