Lostnchina

LATEST ARTICLES ( 51 )

• Nigerian Bank Scam 2.0 – Part Two

  

  Like the bastard third cousin of Justin Bieber’s hairdresser, I’ve been shunned by the Nigerian Bank Scammer community.  I’d been hoping to bring you the... Read more

  Posted on 14 August 2013 HUMOR

• Vivian and I Are Having a Baby!

  

  Late last year, Vivian, my Accounting Manager and right-hand person in China told me on internet messenger that she was (finally) formally getting married:Me:... Read more

  Posted on 07 August 2013 HUMOR, LOVE & SEX

• The Overly Self-Indulgent, Absolutely Optional Non-Anniversary Anniversary Searc...

  

  Number One Search Term – chunky monkey, fat hairy monkey, monkey chunky, chunky monkeys, mean monkey, fat hairy monkeys, chunkey munkeys, fat grey monkey, chunk... Read more

  Posted on 29 July 2013 EXPAT, HUMOR, TRAVEL

• Nigerian Bank Scam 2.0 – Part 1

  

  Anyone with an email address has seen it all before – Azubuike Onyekachi is the only employee with the Central Bank of Nigeria who has any knowledge of and the... Read more

  Posted on 14 July 2013 HUMOR

• A Me-tube Interlude

  

  One of the best things about being back in the States is the ability to access websites people in the free world take for granted – The New York Times, the... Read more

  Posted on 29 June 2013 HUMOR, LOVE & SEX

• Of Banks & Sex – Banking in 21st Century China

  (Source: Non-Chinese woman rolls around in non-Chinese currency.) Written in April 2006, before the happy advent of internet banking After two years of living i... Read more

  Posted on 14 June 2013 EXPAT, HUMOR, LOVE & SEX, TRAVEL

• Dentally Yours: An Adventure in Chinese Medical Misadventure

  

  Ask anyone who’s traveling to a developing country her number one fear and it’s usually either:a) getting robbed, maimed or killed (after which she would most... Read more

  Posted on 19 May 2013 EXPAT, HUMOR, TRAVEL

• The Sarcastic Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: Your Profile

  

  What, me online date?Congratulations! Like a lobotomized water buffalo in heat, you have decided to charge ass first – because its larger size will cause more... Read more

  Posted on 12 May 2013 DATING, HUMOR, LOVE & SEX

• Lost in Translation: When English Is Not Enough

  

  Courtesy: http://calibermag.org/articles/nail-salon/In North America, I communicate in English and also a stripped-down version of English that’s devoid of all... Read more

  Posted on 30 April 2013 HUMOR, LANGUAGES, TRAVEL

• The Fifty Shades of Skymall

  

  A Skymall exclusive: Basho, the Sumo Wrestler Table. For the sake of argument, let’s just say this is a table in the likeness of a Sumo wrestler with a back... Read more

  Posted on 07 April 2013 HUMOR, SHOPPING

• Hells Bell’s Palsy: The Symptoms of a Chinese Mother

  

  Annie, before Bell’s Palsy.Bell’s palsy “is a form of facial paralysis resulting from a dysfunction of the …facial nerve… causing an inability to control... Read more

  Posted on 24 March 2013 FAMILY, HUMOR, PARENTING

• Gotta Getta Grip on My Groupons

  

  Having spent most of the last 8 years in China – a land which sells matching dog and owner outfits in approximately the same size, and a half dozen brands of... Read more

  Posted on 27 February 2013 HUMOR, LIFESTYLE, SHOPPING

• The Trainer.

  

  Based on events which occurred in a small town in China in 2005 I first saw the Trainer – and I believe that was his name,  as that’s what everyone called him... Read more

  Posted on 11 February 2013 EXPAT, HUMOR, TRAVEL

• Teaching My Elderly Chinese Parents the Computer

  

  First published December 3, 2011The other day, my younger sister, Annie, lamented to me over instant messenger,“Mom forwarded me some weird email from one of he... Read more

  Posted on 20 January 2013 FAMILY, HUMOR, PARENTING

• The Nose Knows & Other Gift Ideas to Alienate Your Friends & Family

  

  I’ll admit it.  I’m one of those suckers for Christmas…presents, that is. Growing up, it wasn’t so much about what Christmas meant, but what old man Santa... Read more

  Posted on 19 December 2012 LIFESTYLE, SELF EXPRESSION

• Worst Album Covers in the Universe

  

  We’re all familiar with the adage, “History repeats itself”, especially in the form of natural or man-made disasters. In the 14th Century, Europe was crippled b... Read more

  Posted on 25 October 2012 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR, MUSIC

• The Power of Poo & Other Cross-cultural Conundrums

  

  When people find out that I *live* in China, they always want to know what it’s like. And from the way they ask and the expressions on their faces, I know they... Read more

  Posted on 14 October 2012 EXPAT, HUMOR, TRAVEL

• Lostnchina’s One Year Anniversary

  

  In terms of remembering birthdays and anniversaries I’m more like *gasp* a guy. The beginning of a month rolls around, and I start panicking about whose birthda... Read more

  Posted on 28 September 2012 HUMOR, LOVE & SEX

• Multi-cultural & Very Experienced Sensual Man Seeks a Beautiful Asian Honey to...

  

  First off, thank you for looking at my profile from the bottom of my heart. But in order to make sure that only the most qualified of you are chosen, some of yo... Read more

  Posted on 09 September 2012 DATING, HUMOR, LOVE & SEX

• The Sarcastic Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: The Whole Enchilada

  

  From time to time, when I attend a friend’s wedding, or catch reruns of romantic comedies starring a younger Meg Ryan, who still had control over her facial... Read more

  Posted on 28 August 2012 DATING, HUMOR, LOVE & SEX