Destinations Magazine

USA Invades Russia!

By Mendeleyeev

I used to laugh at Vladimir Putin’s insinuations that the USA was preparing to invade Russia. Look, if you can’t defeat Afghanistan where the fighters are untrained third-world Poppy seed growers, then anyone with a brain knows better than to challenge Russia.

But, guess I was wrong. Yesterday the USA invaded St. Petersburg. They came rolling in on pink bicycles. Correction: He came rolling in on a pink bicycle.

A car with one of those popular dash cams caught the invasion maneuver across the street from the former Palace of the Soviets in St. Petersburg.

There has been no word yet of any declaration of martial law so perhaps he came for some blini or to see the local girls. The pink bike is a pretty clever disguise–no one would see the invading troops until it was too late.

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