Between the day you begin searching for your first or next home, and the morning you awake after your offer on it has been accepted, many thoughts and feelings will pass through the heart and mind. Not only is buying a home an emotional experience, the decision to buy is often driven by significant life change: marriage, birth, divorce, aging, death. Psychologists argue that emotion is integral to the decision-making process; still, when emotion runs high, it can challenge our ability to make good decisions.
In an article for Psychology Today, Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, explains that emotions are designed to “appraise and summarize an experience and inform our actions.” When a major purchase like buying a home triggers emotion beyond the scope of experience, however, how much attention should be given to the visceral response and the thoughts the process creates?
Unfortunately, buyer’s remorse is a fact of life, and studies have proven that, as human beings, we tend to feel regret more often when spending money on stuff, than do spending it on experiences. Think about it this way: when you buy a thing you can physically touch or feel, and you bring it home—let’s use the second-best iPhone model as an example—you may regret not buying the top-of-the-line iPhone. As you continue to use your new iPhone, which you loved when you purchased it, you begin to compare it to the better iPhone, comparing the two until you’re no longer satisfied with the one signed a two-year contract to buy. What you neglect to think about is that the better model may have been too big to fit in your hand comfortably, required a more expensive monthly bill than you wanted to pay, didn’t strike you as aesthetically pleasing as the phone you ultimately bought.
Conversely, buying an experience, like a day at the water park, or a weekend in the north woods, which could cost roughly the equivalent of the aforementioned phone, is far less likely to induce the same sense of regret. Experiences are inherently unique, creating memories that can last a lifetime. Because of their inimitable nature, they can’t be compared to other experiences and are more likely to be enjoyed without falling prey to comparison and remorse.
As you begin searching for a new home, understand that your feelings will run the gamut—from doubt and stress, to elation and joy, all the way back to worry and regret. Recognizing that these feelings are natural, and even helpful, can serve to keep them in check, and ease the decision-making process.
Angela Anderson, Realtor, Results Support Services: EMAIL--BIO
Licensed Associate Working with Sharlene Hensrud of RE/MAX Results, and HomesMSP--Sharlene, John, Angela
