The third episode of season four of HBO’s True Blood is titled If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’? I love the title of this episode. It accurately sums up scenes where the characters are in so much pain caused by the one who supposedly loves them.
Starting from the beginning, the first quote comes from my favorite sassy waitress, Sookie Stackhouse to Eric Northman:
“I am not your f***ing dinner!”
Right after punching him in the nose. You go girl!
After being punched, Eric begins to have flashbacks on his time at the Moon Goddess Emporium.
“Everything I was, was taken from me.”
This quote isn’t funny, but it leaves fans feeling the emptiness that Eric is feeling, while going through this confusing time. It seemed to really get Sookie’s attention as well.
Number three comes from the lippy Tara Thornton:
“It’s been a while since I got attacked by a vampire, and guess what? It still sucks.”
Quite literally, actually.
The next one was a typical Jessica comment to her maker Bill Compton when she confessed to him that she “fed” from another man besides Hoyt:
“Bill, I am not stupid, I’m just unfaithful.”
Number five is a line we heard in the previews all Spring:
“Witches? Oh great, now I have to deal witches?!”
Sookie says this to Pam when she finds out that it was witches who took Eric’s memory away. Eric is still very confused during this conversation and is enjoying learning that he has tasted Sookie’s blood previously. The next one, also coming from Sookie, promptly removes Eric’s lovely smile:
“Yeah, against my will, so technically you fangraped me.”
Across the swamp, Tara, Jesus, Lafayette are trying to figure out what to do with the fact that Eric was harmed by Marnie and he knows all of them personally. Lafayette thinks the best idea is to seek Eric out, which the rest of the group is strongly against. This is where quote number seven comes from. Jesus says to Tara,
“Don’t worry, I can convince him not to do this in a way that’ll make him think it was his idea.”
Oh we know what you mean!
Quotes eight and nine come from people trying to make amends… well, sort of. Andy Bellefleur is definitely fighting his own demons trying to control his addiction to V.
“God grant me the serenity to… fuck it.”
Bad Andy, bad Andy!
Sookie goes to Alcide’s house to try to find shelter for Eric — what she finds instead is Debbie Pelt who is now clean from V, and wants to apologize. After the apology, she does what every Southern woman does:
“You want a Vienna sausage?”
I literally laughed out loud! Come on, who serves Vienna sausages these days?
Love is in the Air
Love is ever present in this series and it’s only right that quote ten and eleven come from a place of love. A misguided and confused place, but love nonetheless.
“I’m gon’ be momma to all your baby cubs.”
This comes from a crazed Crystal Norris to poor Jason Stackhouse as she tends to his wounds.
The next one comes from old lovers Tara and Sam Merlotte:
“Do her a favor and stop flirting with me.”
Please don’t stop flirting! We love the way he looks when he is looking at Tara!
While the next one doesn’t have to do with love, it does have to do with love making:
“You are the smartest most powerful man I know, and I am the smartest most powerful woman I know.”
Portia is so full of herself as she pours her Southern charm all over Bill Compton.
Frienemies
Jessica is so down right bad giving Arlene’s sweet baby this disgusting baby doll, but she does it so eloquently:
“No, no, that’s just age. Um yeah, that doll’s been in my family for a long time, it’s kinda like an heirloom.”
Number fourteen comes from another female confronting an enemy, but Tara is much more vocal in telling Pam how she feels when trying to save Lafayette from her dungeon once again:
“Bet you don’t think the wooden bullets inside are too damn funny.”
Watch out Tara!
Last but definitely not least, the best quote of the night of course came at the end from Sookie:
“You just killed my fairy godmother!”
Well damn.
So these are our favorite quotes from episode three, tell us yours!
(Photo Credits: HBO)
