Well, congratulations Warner Bros. You did it. You broke me. Suicide Squad just completely broke my spirit. It's a white hot mess of a movie, even less coherent than Batman v Superman, which I didn't even think was possible. But this was it, man. This was supposed to be the movie to salvage the summer, to save the DC Cinematic Universe. Instead...I can't. The wound is still too fresh. I'll write an actual review in the morning. For now, here's a GIF from Clue summing up how I feel about Suicide Squad if you replace "her" with "it":
This guy gets it:
Bad movies piss in the pool that we're all trying to convince audiences to return to. A bad movie is a hostile act against the film industry
- Keith Calder (@keithcalder) August 3, 2016
If you absolutely must see a Suicide Squad movie this weekend skip this thing which WB clearly rushed and then seriously tinkered around with in post, as if once David Ayer finished filming the studio said, "Oh, fuck, we wanted an edgier Guardians of the Galaxy, but we forgot to tell you that. Crap. Throw more rock songs in there and some cool graphics, pronto. Also, way more hero shots of them walking in slow-motion." Instead, rent Jay Oliva's animated film Batman: Assault on Arkham, which is a Suicide Squad movie in every way but name and actually has a coherent plot and understands its characters. In fact, Assault on Arkham does the opening prologue introduction of the team via snappy montage and block text better than David Ayer (or whoever at WB put that opening together).
However, if you do see the live-action Suicide Squad pay attention to Cara Delevigne's Enchantress in the finale and let me know if her weird, nonsense dancing reminds you of this:
It's possibly the funniest thing in the entire film.
