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There’s A Monster At The End Of This Blog

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Today’s WordPress Daily Prompt Challenge asks:

What was your favorite book as a child? Did it influence the person you are now?”

Our favorite book was unquestionably Sesame Street’s “The Monster at the End of This Book” written by Jon Stone and illustrated by Michael Smollin.

The book starred Grover, who guided us through the book as he worried about the fact that he had heard there was a monster at the end of the book.

Spoiler Alert: Grover was the monster! He was worried for nothing! He should have never spent an entire, albeit short, book worrying about nothing! So of course this influenced who we are now. We do not worry about self-created monsters in life, because in the end, we know many of the things we wasted time worrying about will not even come true. Except the time we worried that NBC would replace the hilarious Conan O’Brien, with a return of Jay Leno, followed by a return of the not-hilarious Jimmy Fallon, according to the New York Times.

Three More Monsters At The End Of Other Peoples’ Books We Will Not Worry About

1. That passing stricter gun control laws will lead to the government taking everyone’s guns. The government can’t even take away money from General Electric in years it makes billion of dollars of profits! And General Electric stopped manufacturing M134 Miniguns. In conclusion, not having a gun does not = the government is going to hassle you to get your stuff!

2. That someone will drug us, and we’ll wake up in a bath tub with a kidney stolen next time we visit Las Vegas. According to Snopes, this has never happened! The only thing belonging to you that might disappear in Las Vegas is your money, and perhaps your pride.

3. That a law preventing people from ordering more than 16 ounces of sugary soft drinks in one cup will drive the New York City restaurant industry out of business! Actually, if people buy two 16 ounce soft drinks, which would be legal, we’d say that might be good for business. And the fact that Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory still exists in Times Square suggests to us that New York City restaurants go out of business less frequently than investors can open up restauarants based on movies from decades ago! It looks like it’s time that someone opens up a “Friday the Thirteenth Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan” themed restaurant in New York.*

*And the fact we mentioned Jason shows that our title about there being a monster at the end of this blog was true. But again, not worthy of worrying about since it seems unlikely he will show his face in Times Square since Times Square already has a competing Jekyll & Hyde restaurant.

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