It happens.
“I woke up with a guttural scream escaping my throat. This was not the first time this has happened with me. It had begun when I was 3 and now when I am 15- I just can’t seem to escape it. Escape what? The nightmares. Some people whom I know call it as intuitions of my previous life- of what I was and what I did back then.
What was in those dreams which scared me? Well, I am scared of speaking them out aloud- but I want to share this, so I will.
The first scene which had been played (I couldn’t find of any other word to convey what I had seen.) It was of a battlefield where a man was shooting bullets at another man wearing a swastika on a white circle with red background. A German symbol – I later got to know.
The next was even more horrifying, it was like, I was standing in a field full of dead bodies surrounding me and I have 3 blue lines striped across my face and stock of bullets hung over my shoulder and firing machine guns at the enemy.
That was the beginning. These days, it’s just on how I kill people. Then, the latest one: how a plane dropped a bomb near our camp and how it became a huge ball of fire which consumed everybody.I may look like a regular guy who attends school and lives a normal life. But, the reality is that I carry the memories of my previous life.
I know the smell of blood. I know the thrill a person feels when he fires a bullet, and the satisfaction he receives when it hits the desired target. I feel happy when I do it in the dream, but when I wake up, the guilt consumes me.
I can’t believe that I had killed a chap in my dreams. Sometimes, I also believe that I killed a chap in previous birth. I feel pain when I wake up. Horror at what I had done. I can’t handle the pressure anymore. But, I will handle it. I have to concur my horrendous mistakes I made in the previous birth.I may have been a soldier and might have liked what I did back then, but, I feel that I have been returned in this world to fix all the horrors I had done back then….
OKAY! Today I got to know something shocking. The war, right? Well, I was on the good side. That surprised me- after all how can such devastation be good today: on whichever side I was? I feel even grosser now. How can the world be such a fool and fight these wars? There is always someone losing their life just for what? A better future? More land? Better life?
Better life by losing darned lives for sure. I feel angry over the thinking of the world now. But, I can’t do anything on it. I have to just think on concentrating on the devastation I had caused back then. I have to purge my mind of the memories of war by forgetting them. So, this is the record of what I faced. Thanks for being there for this long.”
This is for Indispired initiative of Indi-Blogger.
