Stories have power. A good story can heal, empower, transform and help us to make sense of the world we live in. The ability to tell stories is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom, they are part of what makes us human.
Businesses understand this. Brands use stories to connect with us, to trigger emotional responses to their products and to encourage us to spend our money with them by inviting us to be part of the story that they are creating.
The entertainment industry understands this. They know how to craft stories to make us laugh, cry or scream in terror.
Even social media, the most modern form of storytelling their is, understands this as it allows us to create stories of our day to day lives to share with the world.
So why is it that we, as people, so often do not understand the power of stories? We are all telling ourselves stories all the time and we all have a collection of classics at our core, the stories that are a part of who we are. But when was the last time you took a good look at those stories and questioned their value in your life?
The stories you tell yourself are the most important stories you will ever hear because they are the ones that will shape you. They are the stories you will be hearing day in, day out and it will be through those stories that you see the world.
Where do they come from?
These core stories come from a variety of places and each person will have formed their internal story collection in a different way. Some key story sources are:
Family
The stories you told by your family are probably some of the most engrained stories you have. How your parents viewed themselves and how they explained the world to you will color your own world view either directly or indirectly on a day to day basis.
Teachers
We all have memories of that one special teacher who showed us that we were capable of more than we realised. You’ve probably experienced the other side of the coin too and encountered the teacher that belittled, humiliated and ultimately harmed your sense of who you are.
Religion
Whether you brought up with a firm faith or without, the ways in which we encounter religion will be woven into our understanding of the world. A negative religious experience can haunt as much as a powerful faith can give strength.
Media
The TV we watch, the films we see, the media we consume all feeds into our sense of who were are and our place in the world in which we live.
Experiences
The good, the bad and the down right ugly, experiences will leave their mark. They leave a trail of stories behind them that will inform the decisions we make on a day to day basis.
Examine your own stories
These internal stories tend to be so much a part of who were are that we can forget that they are there. But these stories are having an impact on our day to day lives so it is sensible to take a look at them and then think about the following:
Are they true?
Is the story you are telling yourself really the truth? When I was at school I was told repeatedly I was stupid. I internalised that as part of my story for a long, long time. Even with a degree and two post graduate certificates I still believed that I was a stupid person. It is only recently that I have been able to pick that story apart and realize that I wasn’t being told the truth.
Are they valuable?
Sometimes we have a story because it has at some point served a purpose. Being hurt after a relationship, for example, can make you wary of trusting others. ‘I don’t trust people’ might be a sensible story when you have just been hurt but if you are still carrying that story around several years later it is unlikely that it is still valuable to you.
Change the script
Think about the stories you have internalised over the years and challenge them. What you believe about yourself might not be true. What you believe about the world might not be helpful to you now.
Be the author of your life
You are the editor of your own life, write out characters you don’t like, create new lines, new meaning. Challenge those negative stories and refuse to let them have power over your life. Write your story and make your own happy ending.
What stories have you been telling yourself that you might need to change or challenge? I would love to hear your answers in the comments below.
Stephanie is a trained actor, qualified drama teacher and mom of two. She is passionate about reading, writing and telling stories and created Storybramble as a resource for other parents who feel the same way.
