And the pendulum swings. Until not so very long ago, it was difficult for a woman to express herself sexually, for many reasons and with even more repercussions. In a society that limited jobs for women, a ruined reputation meant no marriage prospects, and no marriage prospects usually led to poverty or something close enough to it. Without paternity testing, an unplanned pregnancy outside of marriage placed the burden of consequences squarely on the mother. In short, women depended on men.
Aside from perhaps a few nostalgic political donors, most of us are happy that both science and social standards have allowed us to progress. There seems to be some confusion, however, as to just what constitutes progress. Speaking for the majority again, women being able to support ourselves and choosing to marry, rather than having our existence depend upon it, seems a pretty reasonable benchmark to have reached. But as Rashida Jones recently pointed out in a tweet, there are some women who seem to think the bar was made to be lowered. Whether or not she anticipated it, a backlash ensued, and Ms. Jones found herself on a platform of sorts, being pelted by cries of "#Slutshamer!"
The parallels draw themselves. Puritan communities were founded by a religious minority who sought refuge in the New World to escape persecution, yet once they found it, created environments that have made their names synonymous with oppression ever since. There is a new breed of self-dubbed feminists, though I hold them to be the minority, who support a woman's right to prove that she is empowered and will not be objectified by men by...reducing herself to a one-dimensional sex object. I suppose if an African-American insisted upon working for free and in abominable conditions, not because a white man forced him to, but only of his own free will, it would make about as much sense as this anti-slutshaming rhetoric.
The funny thing about sex is that it thrives under mysterious conditions. Miley's and Rihanna's recent antics, which seem to be one big ongoing twerk-off, remind me of Dorothy unveiling the all-powerful Wizard of Oz only to reveal a bumbling old man. This is the bigger truth Rashida Jones was aiming at. If you treat sex like an itch to be scratched, you're not experiencing sex at its greatest. If you think that owning your sexuality is gyrating for all the world to see, you've actually just diminished your own power. The more you attempt to make sex ordinary, to drag it blinking and protesting into broad daylight, the more its essence will elude you.
To truly own your sexuality, you must know that there are many things that make you sexy and cultivate each one. This is the difference between a slut--who is unaware of or insecure in this and offers only her body--and a fully empowered, sexual woman. No, no one else has the right to call a woman a slut, and thank heavens we've come a long way from the days in which having sex automatically made her one. But with all of our newly available freedom, when a woman can have or be anything she wants, why on earth would she choose to act like a whore to prove a point? The women who get it know that the now notorious tweet was not an accusation; it was great advice.
