Humor Magazine

The Previous Lives Of Agnes DuPont

By Gingerfightback @Gingerfightback
The Previous Lives Of Agnes DuPont

Hello People,

I have been looking for love!

I signed up to Have We’ve Met B4? (www.previouslovepreviouslives.com) the dating agency for the reincarnated.

A very reasonable signing up fee and a choice of a Crossbow, The Plague or Witchcraft as a free signing on gift! I chose the Crossbow, it was made of plastic and sadly hasn’t lasted.

Among the matches from Have We’ve Met B4? was Terry, a very nervous Visigoth with dandruff, Clancy a hirsute Victorian Chimney Sweep (First man I met who platted his nasal hair) and Andrew, whose incarnation as Archimedes meant our date was a discourse on the importance of the bath plug.

Tonight I’m cooking dinner for Neville, who was a 4th Century Corsican Pirate plying his evil trade on the Barbery Coast, pillaging, wenching and ravishing as he went.

He’s in Telesales now is allergic to brushed cotton and is convinced that only a a reformed New Kids On The Block can save the world from militant Islam.

Sounds a catch.  If a touch deranged. Hope he likes soup. I love soup. Slurp, slurp.

Tatty bye

Agnes

The Previous Lives Of Agnes DuPont


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