Love & Sex Magazine

The “People Never Change” Theory

By Tobehitch

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OKAY. This is not really a theory, per say. But I’ve found that when it comes to the subject of dating and relationships, and how people handle it…PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE. I used to think that the topic of dating and relationships somehow becomes more mature when you get older, but then I grew up and realized that it’s all the freaking same. No matter what you do, you just can’t escape it. People LOVE to gossip, and whether that means they are thirty years old in an office, or sixteen years old in high school, IT NEVER ENDS! You will NEVER be able to escape dating/relationship drama for the rest of your life! 

In High School, you’re constantly bombarded with so much GOSSIP, and GIGGLING, and all that random-ass crazy stuff that happens whenever you find out that this girl likes that guy, or this guy likes that girl. There’s so much DRAMA, and EVERYONE talks about it…it’s DISGUSTING.

I was certain that once I hit college, though, things would change, and that the gossiping would die down and people would treat relationships in a much more MATURE fashion. I mean…we’re in COLLEGE NOW? I quickly found out, however, that it really doesn’t stop. The only difference in College vs. High School is that you don’t spend as much time with the same people over and over again, so the gossip is not as rampant. The thing about High School that compounds the “gossiping” and “drama” is that EVERYONE sees each other EVERY SINGLE DAY at school.

In College, you normally aren’t forced to be around the same people over and over again, and people are generally more spread out. IF, however, you end up with a small group of close friends, or join a club or sorority/fraternity…GAWD. It’s JUST as bad as High School, if not worse. What’s wrong with us!?

Then, when I graduated College, I thought “Finally! We can be mature about dating and relationships!”. But, I swear, whenever I go out with a group of guys to get a drink (or something along those lines), the topic of conversation is ALWAYS THE SAME, and when the subject of relationship and dating comes up, the conversational flow is almost a carbon copy of discussions I’ve had during High School and College.

“Hey…how hot do you think Girl X is on a scale of 1-10?”

“Dude…EASILY A 7.5.”

“WHAT? You’re CRAZY, man. She’s WAY MORE THAN A 7.5!”

“Man, you have low standards or something. You think EVERYONE’S at least a 5…”

(At this point someone will make an inappropriate joke, like the one below…)

“Dude, just think about it…if you take TWO 5′s and you put them BOTH TOGETHER, and date both of them at the same time…then you’re dating a PERFECT 10.”

“Um…I really don’t think it works that way…BUT HEY. I GUESS THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!!”

YOU THINK THIS CONVERSATION DOES NOT HAPPEN? HAHAHAHA. I’m sure you guys think I EXAGGERATED it. BUT TRUST ME. OH man. If girls sat in on some of the conversations that guys have when they are alone…HOLY CRAP. I apologize on behalf of men EVERYWHERE. Some of the things we talk about are just CRUEL…and honestly…wow…okay, I’ll just stop here. We’ll just say, that…I…am…sorry?

But honestly, it goes both ways. I mean, not to say that I’ve sat down with a bunch of girls and listened in on what they talk about…but from the conversations I’ve actually heard, honestly, it’s basically the SAME THING. Yea sure, maybe girls don’t rate guys from 1-10. BUT WE’RE ALL STILL LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING. SEX…urhm, I mean, LOVE AND ROMANCE!

A typical girl conversational wavelength may include one of (if not all of) these things.

“What does he do for a living?”

“Does he have a six pack?”

“Does he make a lot of money?”

“Omg, he’s so tall, cute, and…”

“He can sing and play guitar so well! I love his voice!”

(Unfortunately, most of the things that girls talk about above don’t describe me. F MY FREAKING LIFE.)

And I’ve come to find that, even with my parents…who are getting pretty old, STILL GOSSIP about relationships with their friends. I was once forced to sit down (OKAY FINE I WASN’T FORCED) with my mom and a group of her friends…and the ENTIRE TIME, they were gossiping about this person or that person, or how this person “got married SO QUICKLY after his divorce”, or how “this husband and wife still hold hands every night before they go to sleep”, or “how they heard that this person (that everyone seems to know) got a divorce, married a rich man, and is now living happily doing whatever she wants as (basically) a mistress.”


And I guess the answer to that question is obvious. No. We don’t. And there’s a good reason why…relationships are such an integral part of life, so core to our existence. We need others in life…otherwise, why else do we live? In Ecclesiastes, one of the deepest books in the Bible, Solomon constantly talks about life and how meaningless and pointless it all is. After blabbering for nine chapters about how there’s no point to living, he sheds this amazing bit of revelation: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun–all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”

Wow. That’s a powerful statement right there. PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE. We all want someone to love, and want someone to love us back. We all want to feel the warmth of romance, and those butterflies in your stomach when you find someone that you like SO MUCH, that you stay up all night talking to them on the phone.

And we all love talking about it, because, well, talking about it makes us happy. People never change. Go out there and find someone to love.


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