Dating Magazine

Mercy Kill Your Date

By Tobehitch

*I allowed this guest post because this girl felt authentic in asking for a guest post. Obviously, I haven’t blogged in a while. This is from Eric Whitehead. She is a writer, blogger, comedian and contributor to

Norman Bates caught a lot of heat for what seemed like a pretty harmless hobby: Stuffing and preserving the dead, including his mother.  Okay yes, there were also the murders in the shower but that tiny detail aside, the need to resurrect something once throbbing with the life force that created you is fairly understandable.  It’s kind of like those relationships that have long since died and should have been buried but because you just can’t let go of this thing you once loved, you both dress it up, take it out, and parade it around like it’s still alive and functioning.  It’s a lot of work.  But then taxidermy and dating have always been tough jobs.

There are people who have become skilled at breaking up.  These are the same people who smell a rotting corpse and know it’s time to get that thing six feet under or better yet – cremate it.  I mean, whose idea was it to take something dead and decaying and put it in a box and plant it?  It sounds like a kindergarten solution.  I say burn the dead; and if the flame’s dying out in a relationship, walk away from that pile of ashes and go read some online dating site reviews. This is what healthy people do.  The rest of us see a relationship with no pulse and think heroically, I can bring it back!!!  We become our fantasy ER doctors who refuse to give up, who can’t call time of death no matter how cold the body is or how long it’s been flat lining.  We think about how it used to be, so fun and new and innocent, so full of hope.  We think, if we can just revive it one last time maybe it can be like it was.

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