I attended my first mom’s group when Jackson was 5 weeks old. The problem was I wasn’t prepared with what my story would be – would I say he’s adopted or not. I don’t want to tell every stranger he’s adopted but what do I say about my labour, why I don’t have baby weight, why I’m formula feeding, who he looks like, etc.
I then went to a new mom’s group within walking distance from my house. I really liked the moms I met right off the bat and was having some great conversations. Then the questions started as Jackson was the youngest in the room – how was your labour, is his middle name named after anyone, why are you going back after 9 months vs. a year, do you want to speak to a lactation consultant to help with any questions (as I was the only one formula feeding)? I tried to give one word answers and move on but it just wasn’t me. So I opened up and told a few moms close by that he was adopted. A weight lifted off my shoulders and some of the moms then shared their pregnancy stories (i.e., struggles with infertility). I don’t want Jackson to be labeled as adopted everywhere he goes but I also don’t think it’s something we need to hide and every person is different and you have to do what feels right for you. I have to say I left feeling awesome and looking forward to going back next week not worrying I’m going to have to dodge questions.
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