Baseball Magazine

The First World Pit of Hell

By Gary
The First World Pit of HellShe's just a Nordstroms model, it wasn't her fault.

I wasn't close to my father, who was a rather opaque person. He wasn't unkind - I mean, he didn't have any malicious thoughts toward me, just a kind of a vague indifference. Eventually I started to feel the same, even forgetting for years at a time that he even existed. One day, out of tremendous boredom, I decided to stalk him on the internet, and there was only one thing: a news interviewer asking him why he thought the water in the port near his home was so green. He didn't know, but remembered swimming in the muck as a small boy, thinking nothing of it. I instantly regretted this action.

Many hours later I was a little (majorly) tipsy and tired of swimming in the salty sea of regret and memories when I did what anybody in that situation does: I turned to internet consumer therapy. I have been a Nordstroms credit card holder for several years now and always had good standing on my account, so I decided to buy brand new A's cap since I had worn the same one since 2010. I spent nearly 30 minutes placing an order only for it to be canceled 5 minutes later. I then spent 30 minutes on the phone with an operator who decided I should re-start the entire process again. I then spent another 20 minutes re-placing the order only for it to be canceled 5 minutes later once again. In conclusion, I decided to stick with the banged-up cap I've had since 2010. I had a guy spill an expensive, local, craft brewed, 15 dollar beer on it in Seattle trying to catch a foul ball, and you can't replicate those types of lovely memories. (In the end, yours truly caught that ball)

This entry was posted in childhood baseball memories and tagged baseball cards, baseball pin up, baseball writing, books, Coco Crisp afro, humor, oakland a's, pit of hell on by .

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