Tomorrow I see my gp to tell her I Say NO to Lithium.
I have only become able to write now through taking a Lorazepam about an hour ago. Prior to that, I was (literally) catatonic much of the day, unable to move or communicate, with strange thoughts like just getting in the car and driving off, taking all the kids' money out of the bank, and not coming back. Ever. (Slight problem: I cant drive.) I dont want to see people, I dont want to talk to people. Especially my kids. Their incessant noise makes me want to scream and kill kittens.
I cant live like this. I have no idea what is going on. Reaction to Lithium? Has it tipped me over into some strange Bipolar 2 mixed state? Am I NOT Bipolar at all and Lithium is making me crazy?
This drug-induced nightmare, whatever its genesis, has got to end. I was supposed to see my GP next Monday anyway, but the way I have been feeling I cant be sure I would be around by then. Life was a lot easier when I was drinking all the time. How is this better? How can these effects of medication be better than being mellow on wine?
Fuck. I have felt shit since I stopped drinking and now its worse instead of better. Did I kill the baby jesus in my past life?
Has anyone else ever experienced horrendous side effects from the meds that were supposed to keep them safe and sane?
