Dating Magazine

The Difference Between an Experience and a Waste of My Precious Time

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

The Difference Between an Experience and a Waste of My Precious TimeMy question of the day is? How is it that we can invest so much time in someone and it never leads anywhere? Wouldn’t this be considered a huge waste of time? I can’t say that this has happened to me recently, but I’ve certainly had my share of wasted time and energy. Dating is fun and it’s good getting to know other people but shouldn’t we all date with some purpose in mind. It’s ok to take things slow and not rush into anything, but at some point it starts to feel like time is standing still. Even though a mutual “take things slow” agreement may have been made in the earlier stages, it has been my experience that at some point one desires more. Think about it! How many times have we dated someone with an understanding and then months later we decide we want more and end up busted and disgusted!

I believe that in every dating experience or relationship there’s always one who cares a little bit more than the other. Simply put, we date and enter into relationships and when it doesn’t go any further or when the relationship ends, we do a mental inventory and realize that maybe we loved them a little bit more than they loved us, or maybe we expected things to go further than they did. We began to wonder if we wasted our time, our energy, our emotions, and everything in between. We begin to doubt ourselves and wonder why is it that we always seem to end up in this position.

We need to learn the difference between an experience and a huge waste of time.  An experience teaches us something; we gain knowledge about ourselves and what we desire. It enhances our lives and even if nothing more comes from it, you may actually gain a friend and mutual respect for each other. A waste of time is dating someone who fits the exact same profile as the person you dated previously (no ambition, lack of respect, fear of commitment, baby momma drama, stalker ex, etc.) thinking things will be better with this one. You find yourself singing the same Aretha Franklin tune over again “you’re no good , heartbreaker, you a lie and you a cheat! “ Everything is repetitious and although it’s an entirely different person, you start to feel some form of déjà vu.  (Here we go again)

This year, I have really focused on dating people who want the things that I want who can enrich my life in some sort of way. In the past, I have dated people who I knew would be a huge waste of my time and it wouldn’t lead to anything more than a few dates. The bad thing is I now have less dates, the good thing is I also have less wasted time that I now use to go shopping. I chose to learn from my mistakes and have more experiences rather than wasting my precious time. How can we learn from our mistakes if we keep making the same mistake over and over again?

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