Diaries Magazine

The Day I Cried in My Kitchen

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
It's not that the feral threesome have done me in, try as they might. Instead, it's quite the opposite.  You see, my School Holidays Salvation arrived!

The day I cried in my kitchen

Behold - my new slogan

Wise words.  I need to get myself a set of white Tshirts emblazoned with this sage advice, one for every day of the week.
On to the contents :

The day I cried in my kitchen


Proof that it is indeed mine, and I did not go skulking around the neighbours' doorsteps looking for abandoned wine deliveries. Not even kidding when I say that I shed a tear. Especially when I realised there was a whole other layer of "Mummy's Cordial" underneath...

The day I cried in my kitchen


Tears of joy did rain down upon thine kitchen benchtop. It is indeed booze in a cardboard box, only it's not the kind that I'm used to.  There is no nozzle.  It did not come from the musty shelves in the depths of the darkened corners of Dan Murphy's discount liquor warehouse. My first instinct was to hide it all for myself.  Even the coffee, because I like to keep the good stuff just for me.  #1Hubby has been surviving on instant coffee that I've convinced him is the real stuff, thanks to the 2-3 scoops per cup that I use for faux strength, coupled with my theatrical efforts for authenticity's sake, of using the coffee plunger in order to fool him.
I'm committed to my performance.
Meanwhile, I hoard the real coffee for myself, and pull it out once he's gone to work, heh.
So my plan was to maintain this selfishness and hoard the goodies for myself, until I realised two things:
a) I totally had to brag about this and show off my bounty, waving it under the noses of my non-blogging family, seeing who would suck up the most.  I figured it was good for at least a few hours of pro-bono babysitting.
b) this coffee was far too good for my $5 Red Dot single cup coffee plunger, that falls apart every time I use it, so I'm left chewing the grounds.
Yeah I know, probably Karma's way of giving me an ass kicking for not sharing.

Since I am, sadly, without coffee machine after the death of my dearly beloved Saeco (RIP darling, not a day goes past where I don't miss your stainless steel finery), I had to bribe, bargain and beg #1Nana to loan me her coffee machine.
Her price?
Time with the beloved grandkids?  Don't be stupid.
Wine.  She demanded to be my one-time-able-bodied and exceptionally experienced wine tasting assistant.
Stay tuned for my first review tomorrow.  Complete with #1Nana's wise words of wisdom and commentary  extremely experienced wine swilling views.
I don't think I've been this excited since I went to a Take That concert in 1995, and realised there were another 3 rows of people behind me, further from the stage than I was. It just wasn't meant to be at that point in time Robbie, but that's okay because you've kinda let yourself go since then, distracted from your formerly chiseled abs by chasing UFO's while living on cheeseburgers.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • 21 Sunglasses Under $21 On Amazon

    Sunglasses Under Amazon

    Happy Tuesday everyone! Phew, with the time change last week, getting back on Sunday from our week house hunting in Chicago and getting ready to pack again to... Read more

    8 hours, 31 minutes ago by   Cait
  • Classy Wedding in Rose Gold Hues | Zoe & Alex

    Classy Wedding Rose Gold Hues Alex

    Zoe’s and Alex’s wedding was simple yet classy! Decorated with gorgeous, fresh flower bouquets in pink hues, an impressive arch with beige and hanging white... Read more

    8 hours, 32 minutes ago by   Eleni Balkouli
  • Last Letter Home – Rachel Hore

    Last Letter Home Rachel Hore

    Historical Fiction4*s I do love a good dual time-line story and this one has two geographical references to enhance the experience even further. Read more

    9 hours, 30 minutes ago by   Cleopatralovesbooks
  • Enjoy the Walk-- Snow Tomorrow . . .

    Enjoy Walk-- Snow Tomorrow

    Read more

    9 hours, 31 minutes ago by   Vickilane
  • Roast Loin of Pork

    Roast Loin Pork

    I had bought a lovely bone in pork loin roast prior to Christmas, which had been in the freezer since then as I just didn't get the chance to cook it. I... Read more

    11 hours, 31 minutes ago by   Mariealicerayner
  • 20 Strength Exercises When You’re Fighting Mobility Problems

    Finding a user-friendly exercise program for patients diagnosed with related ataxia symptoms isn’t easy. Gary, for example, is limited to lifting 10lbs, so he... Read more

    14 hours, 58 minutes ago by   Livingwithss
  • A Heartfelt Letter to My Firstborn - I'm Sorry

    Heartfelt Letter Firstborn Sorry

    To my dearest firstborn,You are turning nine end of this year and I realised, to my shock and even a little horror, that it will be your last single digit year... Read more

    The 19 March 2018 by   A Happy Mum