As promised, let me take you in painful detail through the events leading up to the highlight of my life so far (or, ever. Because I'm a realist, not an optimist).
If you ever find yourself near Seminyak on my second home, that being the island of Bali - you have to check out the Red Carpet Champagne Bar.
Clearly denoted by the red carpet, should you need a visual prompt on arrival.
A few things about this little gem -
1. Free iced water. Topped up more frequently than you're offered another alcoholic beverage. A must in the humidity and heady champagne filled venue.
2. Free food! Tasting plates were whizzed out later in the evening both nights we graced them with our presence. Exactly what one needs after making friends with a few different drops of vino...
3. Free shots! As if it was ever going to be easy to top the free food. They nailed it. My personal favourite, the shots of Cosmopolitan. Because I'm a lady and restrain myself from downing entire cocktails in one go - I find a shot of cocktail so much more sophisticated and refined. Be it their weekly music quiz where you get a shot for a correct answer, or a random night where the owner is feeling festive - who cares? Free shots!
4. Shopping. I'm a girl who loves to shop. I am torn when it comes to choosing beverages over boutiques. Imagine my delight while whining about having to trek upstairs to use the ladies' room, only to find that it is located inside a mini-boutique!
I did, upon completion of one visit to the loo, ask if I could possibly borrow a long, curly purple wig and bejewelled mask from the boutique for just a few minutes of comedic value - planning on returning to my friends' table and continue our conversation as if nothing had happened.
But they said no.
Bummer.
5. Abi. Oh, Abi. Abi is the head of transport at the bar, and takes his job very seriously. On our first visit, Abi introduced himself and advised that the bar would be happy to escort my girlfriend and I home (the other lightweights had gone back to the hotel after dinner, but two of us were all hardcore committed to using every second of child-free holiday time we had). He implored (yes, implored) us to ask for him when we were ready to leave.
We forgot.
BIG MISTAKE.
Come the second visit, and our group of six was once again met by the delightful Abi, who repeated his previous offer.
Look, to be honest, we'd had just a few drinks by this stage.
I know, I know. I am a pillar of responsibility, and you'll likely find it hard to believe that I could possibly consume more than the recommended one drink per hour, with a water chaser. But I was taking one for the team, in an effort to prop up the festive party atmosphere.
Or something equally as believable.
So we decided to take Abi up on his offer.
Abi seemed super psyched, and insisted we "view the VEE-HIGH-CLE".
How could you not?
So we did. Expecting to see a van with the bar logo, or something similar.
Not. Even. Close.
At first, I thought he was taking the piss. But Abi very patiently explained that we would travel in groups of two, should we find the VEE-HIGH-CLE acceptable. One in the side car, one on the back of the attached scooter, which he would drive very carefully back to our accommodations.
I'm pretty sure Abi has had to run through this speech a few times before.
Regardless, I was all WOOHOO, I'M IN!
And jumped in the side car before anyone else could.
Being a huge fan of the double meaning, I get all kinds of happies to be able to say....
I RODE A BOTTLE OF MOET. IN THE LITERAL.
Hands-free action shot as we took off.
Me: Trying to play it cool with a simple thumbs up (a show of respect for the sophisticated Moet)
Pat: Losing her shit laughing.
Abi: Cool as always.
It was the best 20 minutes of my life.
If it hadn't been our last night, I would've returned every single night just for the ride home.
Which I would've deviated past the doof-doof nightclub strip so I could do some uber cool gang signs, and maybe a little 'sup to any attractive types.
I'm pretty sure Abi enjoyed it almost as much as me. Because he surely has the most awesome job in the world.
Seriously, do yourself a favour and check out Red Carpet Champagne Bar in Seminyak.
Say hi to Abi.
Say yes to the ride home.
