Dating Magazine

The Balancing Act Between Nice and Not So Nice

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

The Balancing Act Between Nice and Not so NiceAfter weeks of having the DVR record some of my television shows, I finally got a chance to watch a few. I spend 90% of my day on a computer or using some gadget that has internet access so television is often neglected. I honestly space out sometimes when I’m writing or reading until I forget that television actually exists. So after catching up on the show Bridezilla’s, I was left with one lingering question, why oh why would anyone want to marry these women? I don’t know whether I should feel sorry for the men or slap them for being such dumbasses.

Years ago, a good friend of mine leant me a book called “Why Men Marry Bitches” I remember reading certain chapters about how men like women who are direct and women who can stand up for themselves. OK, this is fine and dandy but there’s a difference between being a strong woman and being a flat out bitch. I have followed this show over the last couple of years and I don’t understand how these women get men to date them and actually propose marriage. I watch in horror as these women disrespect their families, friends, fiancée, and everyone else in their path. I begin to ask myself is getting married worth all the bitchiness? How does one put up with such behavior? I would imagine that one would have to be an extremely miserable person to bitch and moan all the time; it takes a lot of energy to be mean. I thought love was supposed to make you happy.

As they say,” you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar” but they also say “nice guys finish last”. I believe the answer lies somewhere in between; people seem to like others who can stand firmly on their beliefs, who can speak their mind, and someone who has a take charge attitude but people also like somebody who knows when to shut the hell up, how to be personable, approachable, and not to controllable. Controllable is B…O….R…I…N…G! Give me a challenge! I’ve definitely noticed that when I was extremely nice and agreeable in the past, it didn’t go too far. As soon as, I got some sassiness in me and told people where I stood, I couldn’t get rid of them.

Being a bitch may initially attract someone because people genuinely like a challenge but the true question is will it last? At some point everyone gets fed up and takes off running from you and all your bitchassness. The bitchiness is not so attractive anymore, especially when it dominates your personality. There are two sides to every woman, the nice girl and the bitch; whatever side you feed the most is the side that dominates your personality. My advice, take a double dose of the chill pill. It’s a balancing act in which sometimes we listen to the angel on our left side and the devil on our right; this gives us an equal balance between nice and not so nice. You have just enough sassiness to keep someone challenged and just enough niceness to keep their love.

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