So last week I posted on the topic of changing habits, and the 30 day rule. Basically the idea is that most unwanted habits can be broken and new habits can be formed in 30 days of disciplined action or steadfast abstinence! I’ve used this technique to quit smoking, quit coffee, reduce my sugar, give up eating meat and more. This month I’ve started a new 30 day habit-breaking challenge, I call it: The Asshole Challenge!
This month has been hectic, finishing Gyaros and getting it ready for launch as well as winding up all my recording projects to focus on writing has been strenuous to say the least, and about a week ago I noticed myself behaving like an asshole. I was taking out my stress on those around me which was not fair at all. If there’s one thing I really dislike it’s assholeness, in others and in myself. It is at best pointless and at worst quite destructive. I know that there is absolutely no need to be an asshole, it’s unethical and nasty to foist our bad moods and personal problems on others, to take out our frustration on people who are innocent in the matter. To be needlessly cruel, unkind, overly critical and just an all-round asshole!
And yet, knowing all this, I do at times slip into assholehood. I can be short with people, impatient and rude. When I have stresses in my life sometimes I take it out on those around me by being frumpy and grumpy. And I don’t like it! So I’m taking the asshole challenge. I actually started on Wednesday the 27th of March so I’ve already been asshole free for almost 5 days. The challenge is to make it through 30 full days without being an asshole, in the hope that better, kinder, more gentle habits will form with regard to how I treat others, even when I’m under stress or in a bad mood.
So let’s get down to business. I will present to you the definition of asshole behavior, then below that I will list the rules of the challenge, and below those I will give some advice on how to get through the 30 days without slipping up if you decide to take it too.
Rules Of The Asshole Challenge:
1. You must not engage in any of the above mentioned actions or activities for 30 days.
2. Even if you yourself are in a bad mood or under stress, accept it as your responsibility and do not bring others down. Work on the issue yourself or ask for genuine help with a problem.
3. Do not use the challenge as an excuse to capitulate or act the victim. You must still stand up for your needs and assert yourself when necessary. This is not about becoming passive, you still need to communicate and negotiate effectively. You just can’t be an asshole about it
- Every morning as you lie in bed, brush your teeth or take a shower say to yourself “I will not be an asshole today. If I feel like being an asshole I will stop myself. There is no justification for asshole behavior.”
- If you find yourself under a lot of stress remind yourself that it is your stress and no one else’s. By all means share your troubles when appropriate or ask for help, but remind yourself not to force your crap on someone else. How would you like someone foisting all their issues on you and brought you down?
- If you are in a bad mood remind yourself that bad moods pass, but your behavior during it can leave lasting impressions. Even if you are convinced that the world sucks and everyone is stupid, try and remember that not everyone is in a crappy mood. Let others enjoy themselves and laugh, don’t be an asshole and bring them down. You would’t like it if someone did that to you!
- Think if all the people you’ve met that you would consider to be assholes, or who regularly engage in asshole behavior. Now think about everyone who considers you to be one! No matter what you do someone will think you’re an asshole, and in the end what others think means nothing. However I know I’d prefer not be known as an asshole by the people I respect!
- If someone is acting like an asshole toward us don’t rise to it, don’t use it as a justification to fall into the behavior yourself. You can’t be implicated in the bad behavior of others unless you join in by your own will.
Won’t be needing this anymore!
We, and I mean all of us, have an opportunity to reduce the level of assholeness in the world by looking at our own behavior and improving it. The point is not to become perfect, that’s impossible (I’ll bet even Jesus and Gandhi had their asshole moments), the point is to bring awareness to our behavior and to not engage in so much pointless and petty negativity, or bringing the mood down. The idea is to become an example of decency toward our fellows.
I have started the Asshole Challenge, my 30 days will be up on the 27th of April. Wish me luck and feel free to take the challenge yourself! Let’s see if we can reduce the level of assholness on this crazy planet
Thanks for reading, all the best!
Rohan.
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