That’s a Huge No No: My First Date Turn Offs
Sometimes when I write my post, I get so focused on writing about dating that I sometimes forget to include personal experience along with what I’ve learned. As luck would have it, I had a conversation early this evening with one of my friends. We got a chance to relive some of our dating experiences. I instinctively told her, I can’t believe all the dates I’ve been on that didn’t lead to anything. Not because something was wrong with me, but because they did something that totally turned me off. When asked on another date, I pleasantly declined and immediately stated the reason why so that some other woman wouldn’t have to go through what I did. Here are some of my date turn offs:
You decided to get drunk
First off, I can truly appreciate a good drink; apple and pomegranate martinis specifically. However, I do realize there’s a time and place for me to show my ass from having one too many. A date is not one of those times. A glass of wine is cool but going on a full drinking binge is totally inappropriate. It makes me think that my date already has a partner, the bottle. Who in the hell gets drunk at Applebee’s anyway; all the way turned off!
You’re rude to people and/or the wait staff
Rudeness really pisses me off! Some people feel like its ok to be rude to people as long as they’re not rude to you. I beg to differ, especially when it comes to the waiter or waitress serving my food. I will never understand why people are rude to people who have to serve them a meal. As a result, I now have to kiss up to the wait staff to keep them from putting only God knows what in my food. YouTube has educated the world in food preparation! This may not bother most people, but the way I look at is, if you’re an asshole to others at some point you’ll be an asshole to me.
Your credit card gets declined
I ‘ve learned a lot, and I do mean a lot, over the years. One lesson that always remains in my head is that just because someone drives a nice car and has a decent home doesn’t mean they got money. When I go on a date, I seek to find out whether someone will be an asset or a liability. Asset meaning you will add value to my life, liability mean you will take value from my life. If your credit or debit card gets declined while we’re out, you have any business taking me out anywhere. Years ago, I dated a guy with a really nice home who drove a Range Rover. He was always dressed impeccably. One day on my way to the mall, I passed by his house and there it was, the water shut off notice that the city had plastered all over his front door. I never said anything to him about it until a few days later when he called me and told me I was cheap and needed to buy a new car because I could do better. I paused for about 2-5 seconds because I couldn’t believe he had said that me. That’s when I told him “you got a lot of nerve telling me some shit like that! You’re 45 years old and got a Range Rover but no water to wash your ass” out all of the utility bills the water bill is the cheapest one and you can’t pay that! Needless to say, I never heard from him again.
You offer unwanted advice
If I want advice, I’ll ask for it! I went out with a guy one time and he spent the entire date telling me what he felt like I should be doing with my career, with my finances, and with my life in general. Dude, I didn’t ask you for some life class lesson. Hell, you don’t even know me that well to give me such advice. And on top of that, I’m pretty sure I made more money than he did. I can understand if I was out with a millionaire who could give me sound financial and investment advice, but don’t tell me a damn thing if you’re not together. How can you possibly tell me how to be a millionaire and you’re not one yourself. Scratches Head!
I can go on and on but I want people to actually read this so I need to keep it at a minimum. Maybe a Part II at a later date may be in the works. If you find yourself in this same situation; having many dates that never progress passed the first or second date. It’s best to look at the positive outcome; you got to spend an evening out and in most cases it didn’t cost you a dime. At least I hope it didn’t!
What are some of your first date turn offs?
