Nathan and I are what I will call friends, I have never met this guy, I met him on Twitter. It may sound odd to call him a friend as I have only spoken to him a few times, yet despite me being what some would call “a popular social media” user, he is one of a small handful of people I know I could and would email or tweet if I needed someone to “talk to or listen to me”. Nathan and I are very alike and when he sent me his book to read I was honoured.
The sad thing is I read the first chapter of his book Surviving The Fourth Cycle and I closed down the page ( I am reading a PDF copy). It has taken me a further four weeks to open that page back up. The first chapter scared me. Not because Nathans life story is by any means scary, its damn right horrific and terrifying, scary does not come close, but because I was able to relate quite closely to the feelings that Nathan portrays so openly alone in the first chapter and thought oh god its gonna make me cry. This book without a doubt will go on to help thousands out there suffering from a variety if mental health problems.
The clearness of the intrusive thoughts and sights become real, his desperation and aloneness shines though, he is weak at these times in his life and the vulnerability you feel for this man is heartbreaking. If only I could pull him from the pages, its one of those books that once you begin to read you do not want to put down, this man becomes someone you want to help and rescue, yet in his own words, “I want to save my life, but it’s not going to be easy considering I’m also the one trying to end it. I’m fucked up in many ways”
While I would normally write a book review on one short blog post, Nathans book I feel deserves further insights and I will be writing his book review over a period of time. This book deserves to be brought into the spotlight.
Nathan was only six years old when his sister molested him, you can read more about that right here on the blog, where Nathan shares one of the most traumatic times of his life with you. Life after being sexually abused gives an honest insight from a ans perception.
At the age of 17 Nathan lost his mother, the brute of a man who had tormented him through his childhood and his grandfather all in the space of 3 months. That alone is enough to tip anyone over the edge.
The biggest surprise I did get from starting to read Nathans book is that the guy I had imagined in my head is nothing like the man behind the book. Its fantastic and I literately laughed out loud when I had to re read the part where he says he enjoys body building? I had this guy down as some tall, skinny little man with a mop of dark hair. Actually Nathan was a shaven headed muscle man, prior to his “illness” stealing this from him. Its funny how we automatically envisage how someone looks.
I am half way threw the book and have encountered time when I want to cry and I feel a lump rise in my throat and then there are moments I want to scream, why the hell did you do that. The fact is this is Nathans real life story, warts and all and we all have our way of coping and dealing with the crap that life throws at us.
If like me you enjoy raw, open and honest real life stories then you will need to read Surviving The Fourth Cycle
I will write another post soon once I have completed the book, but I know Nathan is a sensitive soul and I am guessing he is sat worrying how I will feel about him, after I have read his life story.
“Oh my god will she still wanna talk to me?”
Nathan, I began this blog post stating that you are my friend, your one of a few I know I could tell anything too and you would never judge me. Sometimes we have to go though shit, that does not make us any less of a person. You my dear friend are a remarkable man, doing so much good from speaking out. Your little boy will never see you as anything but his hero and that’s a great title for you.
You know I am rooting for you, standing by you and will get your book noticed x
So my dear blog readers, what are you waiting for? Go and buy the book and write your own review on it and I would be happy to host it here for you.
