Now that you have experienced a pregnancy loss you are probably feeling more sadness then you ever thought possible. Having a miscarriage can be very difficult. The emotional impact can usually take longer to heal than the physical impact. Allowing yourself to grieve the loss can help you come to accept it over time.
Women may experience a roller coaster of emotions such as numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating. Even if the pregnancy ended very early, the sense of bonding between a mother and her baby can be strong. Some women even experience physical symptoms from their emotional distress.
Depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, your miscarriage experience may be very much like labor. You may have even found out the gender, picked out a name and began decorating the nursery, and it can be very hard to let go, but always remember it’s okay to feel sad and have setbacks. You shouldn’t be expected to heal physically or emotionally right away. You may even choose to go to therapy for your grief.
The grieving process for a miscarriage involved 3 steps:
Step 1: Shock/Denial: “This really isn’t happening; I’ve been taking good care of myself”
Step 2: Anger/Guilt/Depression: “Why me? If I would have…” “I’ve always wanted a baby so bad, this isn’t fair. I feel sadness in my life now more then ever.”
Step 3: Acceptance: “I have to deal with it, I’m not the only one who has experienced this. Other women have made it through this, maybe I should get some help.”
Each step takes longer to go through than the previous one. There are unexpected and sometimes anticipated triggers that lead to setbacks.
