my absolute favorite thing about the summer is spending whatever weekend we can in mccall. i remember my first time going there while i was dating tanner. we drove up from rexburg and got in pretty late. one of the first things we did was walk out to the lake and look at the stars and it was quite romantic. we spent the next few nights sneaking out to the boat in the middle of the night to kiss haha. tanner pretty much grew up in mccall since his family has owned their condo for more than 20 years now. i remember asking him one time what is his favorite thing in the world to do? he said to spend time with his family, especially when all his brothers are together, in mccall. i'm so glad i get to share in these memories now. it really is one of the best places!
i was thinking the other day how i used to take so many more pictures than i do now. i mean as a kid. i always had a disposable camera and loved taking pictures of friends and just whatever was going on in my life. you'd think that with my accessibility to unlimited amounts of photo taking i would take more, but i honestly don't. i think i hit a point where i was so consumed in getting a good photo that i had to take a step back and just learn to enjoy doing what i'm doing. i'm learning to balance that now by taking photos to capture memories and feelings vs. getting something valid for social media. for example, we spent a few weekends in mccall with several friends and family and i hardly have any pictures of them! my goal is to take more pictures of the people around me, instead of myself and tanner.
this last photo posted was taken while we were with the lunt and gamette family. it was a super fun weekend spent boating, laying out, cliff jumping, eating, fires by the lake and even going to the island for a treasure hunt since it was our friends birthday. the weather was absolutely perfect and although it was the greatest time, i remember feeling so sad inside. i posted that last photo on instagram and a friend texted me with the photo attached and said she could see sadness in my eyes. she was so right. i had started my period that day and was extremely hopeful that we would get pregnant that month. we knew if we didn't, we were going to pursue fertility treatments and press forward with adoption. the friends we were with were fully aware of my situation and i'm glad they were there to let me cry to them. they've been some of my rocks during the last couple of years and are now my biggest cheerleaders. little did we know we would conceive the next month through IUI but when i see that photo, i remember the pain i felt. that's what i love about photos. they can capture a moment and bring back feelings from that time, good or bad. i think it's good to remember where we've been, the feelings we've felt, to try to be a better person for the present and future.
