Dating Magazine

Stop Looking For Love: Let Fate Work It’s Magic

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Stop Looking For Love: Let Fate Work It’s MagicIn my quest to find love and some type of fulfilling magical relationship, I’ve read tons and tons of articles in magazines, on the internet, and I’ve even purchased a book or two that’s suppose to give you all the great tips on how to meet someone and places you should go to meet them. Some I agree with, and some I disagree with. Certain places I truly feel you will not meet quality people who’s looking to settle down or date seriously, well at least I haven’t meet anyone. In fact, most of them sent me running for the border at high speed in my pink Nikes. People sometimes look for love in all the wrong places which includes church, the club, the internet, through hook ups, and sometimes in the workplace.

Maybe in the past you could go to church and meet a decent person but from personal experience and in my neck of the woods I’ve met nicer people with good hearts who don’t attend church regularly. I honestly think that some of the people who go to church are some of the most judgmental people I’ve ever met, it’s like they were born with a halo and never did anything bad in their whole entire life. I’ve seen more drama in the church then on a daytime soap opera which includes fights, thievery, and a whole lot of cheating. You have to hold on to your significant other for dear life while you attempt to listen to the morning sermon. Trust me, at least a few women or men is checking your boo out. This in no way knocks anyone who goes to church. I’m only speaking from my experience, I believe that somewhere there are decent men and women who attend church but with all the Pastors & Priest whose angelic faces have been featured on my local news, I really do wonder!

I’ve been to many bars and clubs and I’ve gotten mad play and many phone numbers but nothing ever came of it. If you meet someone and they have their own VIP seat and all the bartenders know this person by name it means they’re a regular or they’re the owner, which I highly doubt. You really have no idea of how many people this person has given their number. Most of them are on fish patrol armed with bait, looking for the fresh catch of the night. There’s also the competition factor, I have seen women spot some guy having a decent conversation with another woman and then damn near break they’re neck to talk to the guy. Too many people in one place with a ton of booze don’t work well in my opinion. The last time I went to a club men stared at me like I was a porter house steak fresh off the grill. Staring at a woman like that is not attractive and licking your lips while you stare is a whole different story. Do you need some chap stick?

Since I’ve been single, I’ve gone out on many dates with people I’ve met online. Nobody informed me that things had changed in the dating arena during the 7 years I was married. Before I got married, people were pretty much of this world. I’ve gone out with someone who claimed space aliens abducted him, I’ve gone out with the really nice guy who’s momma called him like 5 times during dinner. I’ve been a marriage counselor for a guy who I didn’t know was married, and I’ve had a guy pick me up with 4 of his 12 kids in the car along with the family dog and then called me the next day and asked me to pick him up some boxers. The really weird thing is that their profiles made them seem like they were normal functioning human beings and we had normal phone conversations. It wasn’t until I met them in person that I said to myself “papa tooney we got a looney”. My days of internet dating is over and done.

In my 17 years of working in corporate America I’ll admit that I’ve come across some attractive co-workers but I also live by the old saying “don’t shit where you lay”. My financial well being along with my ability to shop is very important to me. Most companies have strict no fraternization rules that prohibits office romances but there is indeed something exciting about having a secret office romance. People seem to love forbidden affairs and somehow it constitutes great sex but what happens when the thrill is gone and things don’t end on a good note. People have two sides, their professional side and their personal side, we rarely truly know the personal side of our co-workers so we are unable to determine how they cope with emotional issues such as heartbreak or break ups. Have you noticed how people who suffer from obsessive love go off the deep end and kill a bunch of people who had nothing to do with their failed relationship? How many times have we seen this on Lifetime? Unfortunately, this takes place in someone’s home, office, or school and everybody says the same thing “they appeared to be a happy normal person”. In addition that’s just too much time to spend with anyone, work, home, and the weekends!

I’ve never played match maker and don’t intend to ever do so. I think it could be beneficial but it really depends on the friend that’s doing the matchmaking. People should do their homework on someone before they play love connection. One would have to ask themselves, what type of friend hooks someone up with someone who has some traits that you know maybe an issue or someone they know absolutely nothing about? This could spell disaster in the end, so I rather not bother. I met my ex-husband through a hook up and after the shit hit the fan 7 years later the person who hooked us up had the nerve to tell me I knew he was an asshole, I just didn’t say anything…..smack right across your face buddy!

Stop Looking For Love: Let Fate Work It’s Magic

I’m sure there are people in the world who have met people through one of these methods that led to success and a happy fulfilling relationship. The lesson I learned from meeting people through these methods is basically to stop looking and sit my ass down somewhere so love could find me. If you’ve met people through any of these methods and it hasn’t worked out, sit back and let fate send love your way. The people who truly meant something to me I met unexpectedly while I wasn’t looking for anyone. So, I’ll sit back and once again let fate work its magic and send me the mate designed just for me :)


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