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Stock Market Fires LinkedIn

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Yahoo Finance reports that LinkedIn stock plunged 25% in after hours trading today after giving “disappointing guidance.”

3 Reasons We Suspect LinkedIn’s Results Were Disappointing

1. Strategy of sending people regular emails requesting they join LinkedIn has not made them want to join LinkedIn. Dear LinkedIn emails, it seems you have never worked in sales with your lame pitches!

2. Strategy of hiring people because they know other people who acknowledged they knew them on LinkedIn may not be best strategy for finding the best candidates.  “I might as well hire my Facebook friends from kindergarten, who I actually technically know,” we imagine HR reps everywhere saying.

3. Guiding people to post in front of the world, including their current employers, that they are always looking for a better job, may be a good business plan for advertising anti-depressants for sad employees. But since we don’t use LinkedIn, we’ll wager the wrong kinds of ads are being shown to these glum workers.


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