Even in this Gen Z era, domestic violence prevails. In recent years the violence rate against women has declined in some urban areas compared to the 1980s, but not been entirely eradicated. Whenever one hears the word 'domestic violence,' the first thing that comes to mind is 'a man beating a woman'. This is obvious for many reasons.
Our culture and ancestors have taught us many good habits and things to do, except the fact that both men and women are equal. No one is superior to the other. Kids of the previous generation might have seen their father and mother abuse each other. Domestic abuse not only represents a physical attack but also comprises a lot of things. Before proceeding to steps for recovery after domestic violence, understand what it is.
Have you ever been abused in your lifetime?
Read the following questions before answering with a 'yes' or 'no'.
Does your partner
- Hit you if you did not obey their words?
- Make fun of you in front of others (friends & family)?
- Devalue your achievements?
- Make you feel unworthy to make decisions?
- Say, "You are nothing without me?"
- Show their anger on you by pushing or grabbing?
- Pressure you sexually?
- Blame you for things that did not go well?
- Make you feel like you cannot escape the relationship?
If you come up with a 'yes' to any or a combination of the above questions, then you may be experiencing abuse. Also, ensure you are not letting them abuse you by answering the below questions:
Do you
- Often feel scared of your partner's behavior?
- Make excuses for your own desires thinking that your partner would get angry?
- Always prioritize your partner first rather than you?
- Stay with your spouse just because you are scared of what they may do if you leave them?
If you say 'yes' for any of these reasons, then obviously you have to change your behavior because your approach would make your partner abuse more.
None of us enter into a relationship thinking that it would be abusive. Every relationship in its initial stage does not seem abusive. Over time, one of the partners may start abusing or both may abuse each other. Some put an end to this by proper understanding and informed decisions. While in most cases, the abuse will evolve and become a normal routine. Later, it may become alarming.
Steps of Healing from Domestic Violence
Remember, to heal from domestic violence, firstly one must not let their loved ones abuse them. If your spouse does not show empathy, it is better to leave that toxic relationship than to stay in it. Love must not hurt. Check out the stages of recovery after domestic violence.
Acknowledge your trauma
Healing starts with understanding and acknowledging the trauma you have endured and followed by asking for help to start treating yourself with kindness and respect. Understand that only one person is responsible for the abuse-the abuser. Admit that you can do nothing to redirect that toxic behavior. From there, your healing begins. This is the initial step of recovery after domestic violence to rebuild your life.
Understand the impact
Once you acknowledge that you have suffered abuse, try to understand its impact on your daily life. The abuser may be anyone: husband/wife, other family members, friends, and colleagues. Understand that any form of abuse can cause harmful impacts both physically and mentally. Once you know the lasting effects of the abuse, take a call to ask for self-care tips after domestic violence and start focusing on your passion for recovering from the wounds.
Embrace the new freedom
Of course, leaving a relationship will make you feel alone, and you may tend to feel for the person you loved, though he or she is the abuser. Take some time and let the feeling flow. But at the same time, embrace this new life in which you are the decision maker. These positive affirmations can help you drive your mind to do more things that you would like to do. Remind yourself that you are worthy and stay active and engaged. This way you can eliminate the time to think about your past.
Seek for help
After trying out all the above steps of healing from domestic violence, if you still cannot get back from the traumatic experience, seek help. Many therapists are out there. You need not hesitate to reach out for your well-being. This way you can overcome the abuse and come out with a positive new beginning.
Bottom line
Hoping this blog is helpful for individuals trying to heal from domestic violence. Spread a word about this during domestic violence awareness month, October. Remember, no person or situation is responsible for the abuse, except the abuser.
