Community Magazine

Stares At Screen Blankly

By Sparklepanda @sparklepanda

We now resume our normal broadcast.
Within 24 hours of stopping the Lithium, I could function normally. No more catatonia! conversations! Ability to write!
It didnt last long.
Lithium was followed by Seroquel. Hello Zombie-World! 16 hours of zombification! How useful when you have two young children. Doubly useful when your husband has a hernia operation sprung on him and suddenly I am the one who has to do everything.  If it werent for the wonderful parents at my son's school, he wouldnt have got to school at all for 6 weeks coz mommy was still comatose.
So i kicked Seroquel in the arse and picked up a shiny little hussy called Zyprexa. This one promised the world, and for a while it delivered, in the form of a nice little mania which helped the saucepans shine like never before and lots of baking got done. Baking? Are you fucking kidding me? I hate baking. 
Of course, there was something Zyprexa forgot to mention during the honeymoon phase, and that is how I would turn into a giant tub of lard. Lardy McLardarse, eating her way through the kitchen then baking some more goodies when all else is gone. 20kg I've put on.
If you're new here, you might want to read this post to discover how utterly diabolical it is that I of all people have not been able to control my eating to the point of putting on twenty.fucking.kilos.
I've tried sodium valproate for pain relief before and the "dry mouth", well it literally glued my mouth shut.
So what next? Tuesday will tell. I've been stuck on Zyprexa over the holidays until my gp comes back and steadily feeling worse. Now I am back in the throes of depression, hiding myself away and staring blankly out windows. Where did my happy mania go?
What will be thrown at me this time? I want to try Lamotrigine but its not on the PBS and I figure that means there is no way I can afford it. Some other zombifying, obesity-inducing poison?
This really is shit.
How was your spring?
Stares At Screen Blankly

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