My very first thought upon reading Rob Rhinehart’s plan to entirely stop eating food in favor of slurping self-made nutritional drinks was that it’s just one more example of how the world is full of weirdoes.
Eating is, after all, one of life’s great pleasures. It just might be the greatest human pleasure.
Think about it. Not even sex elicits as many orgasmic moans of delight as does food. Hell, you don’t even have to eat the stuff to get that response. The mere smell of a well-prepared curry has the power to send me into a full-blown When Harry Met Sally. What sane person would want to give that up?
Apparently some do and, I have to say, I sympathize; at least to a point. Now I’d no more foreswear eating entirely than I’d willingly become a eunuch, but I do admit that food can be a demanding bitch sometimes. Three meals a day, every day? It’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?
Surely we can jettison some of these meddlesome meals without sacrificing any of the joy, but which ones?
Given the option I’d probably stick with breakfast. It’s a nice transition from unconsciousness.
I’ll keep dinner, too. I love the idea of ending each day with a celebratory feast. Life rocks. It really deserves a daily festival – with wine of course.
But lunch? Lunch I would gladly live without.
Sure, I understand its merit. When I’m bored out of my skull counting the minutes in a cubicle then the mid-day distraction of lunch is something to look forward to. But that’s mostly what it is: a distraction. And when I’m traveling or – really – doing anything that is even remotely interesting, that distraction is more like a burden.
At times like those a slug of Soylent Green would come in super handy. Just think of the possibilities: No reason to leave the museum or get gouged by their café. No more stale muffins on the train. No need to contort your itinerary around gnawing hunger.
Feeling a little peckish five miles into your wilderness trek? Soylent Green.
Trapped with the hordes in the maze of the Sistine Chapel? Sneak a little Soylent.
Waiting for your dumbass friend who was supposed to meet you for lunch 45 minutes ago? Screw him, Soylent Green!
I’d eat the stuff just to avoid having to spend so much time scavenging for food while traveling. I’d wager Shannon and I spend almost as much time trying to provision for lunch as we do actually exploring the destinations we visit. Down with all of that.
Rob, if you’re reading, we’ve reconsidered. Send us some Soylent, just leave out the people.
