Sorry guys, this is a bit of a bleak post for a Friday. But, I am just so astounded by the news I read on Stuff.co.nz today (you know I'm a sensitive soul). In New Zealand, within the last year, 134 people felt that taking their own lives was the only escape. We are a tiny little country, 134 souls is a lot to lose to mental illness. It reminded me of a piece I wrote a few months back now, that I never posted because it was a bit of a downer. But, as much as life is full of wonderful things like spring flowers and birthday necklaces, it has it's dark days too. And it is important to acknowledge this. The peice I wrote is below. Thinking of all those families today who have been touched by suicide, mental illness, or hardship.
Last night I drove through town at the perfect time. It was darkening out and chilly. It was bang on 5.30pm and everyone was rushing home. As I pulled up to the traffic lights I glanced to my side and through the blur of bodies I saw a man sitting on the step of a closed shop. He sat with a can in front of him and a sign that read: Sorry to ask. Need to live. Thank you. It was not the words that first struck me. It was his demeanour. His face was drawn and his eyes were low. He nervously rubbed his hands and he looked broken. I recognised the look on his face as shame. People walked passed and they pretended not to see him, they carried on walking. He was so ashamed of asking for help, and this made me sad for him. Those words and that shimmer of shame really touched me. As I drove away I couldn’t stop picturing his face. It is a desperate, or a brave man who can ask for help. I realised I could judge him; presume that he needs money for drugs and is too lazy to work. Or I could just see the human being in front of me, out in the cold, desperate or brave enough to endure his own feelings of inadequacy mirrored back at him by passing faces. After all, the rest of us do a similar thing at one time or another in our lives. We sit in shame and wear that sign. Whether we are standing before a partner asking them to love or appreciate us; standing in front of a parent asking them to be proud of us; standing in front of our boss asking for credit where credit is due; standing in front of another asking them to accept us, just as we are. We all have our moments where we feel ashamed to need someone else’s support, but sometimes it just has to be done. Support and love are basic human needs, just as vital to our well-being as food and water.
Sorry to ask. Need to live. Thank you.
Much love and have a happy, fun-filled weekend Friends XXX
