This past weekend, I donned a unicorn speedo and a smile and ran down the road in the middle of rural Iowa (well, it's pretty much all rural). I wasn't alone. An amazing friend joined me while a group of other amazing friends cheered us on. I'll spare you the pictures because nobody needs to see that! In that moment, a number of things came into focus for me in a very personal way. Things I've been thinking a lot about, writing about, and teaching about, but perhaps hadn't fully internalized myself. Psychological safety, belonging, ritual, friendship, and community all came into focus more acutely.
I've been running the Market to Market Iowa Relay with the same group of friends every year since it began in 2013. Each year, the "Speedy Streakers" decide on costumes, gather our running gear and plenty to drink, hop in a van, and run/drive 78 miles from Jefferson, IA to Des Moines, IA. Along the way, we share miles, stories, memories, reconnect, counsel each other, and create new memories. I moved from Iowa to Delaware in 2015, and am always amazed, although I shouldn't be, at how easily we all slip back into the comradery of amazing friendship. It didn't matter that I hadn't been able to join since 2019 because of the pandemic and other life circumstances. It didn't matter that all of our lives have changed significantly in the last 10 years. We were and are completely safe with one another in the way that only more than a decade of close friendship can provide.
We read and talk a lot about the importance of human connection in a virtual worlds. We wonder if we can achieve the same genuine connections online, as so many young people are doing nowadays. There's no question that the fact that we live our lives online more today than we did 20 years ago is having an impact on peoples' lives, emotional and physical wellbeing, community, and sense of belonging. The jury is probably still out as to whether we will successfully evolve as social beings to take advantage of the technology that is coming at us faster than we can process.
What I do know is that there is no replicating the smell of a group stinky, sweaty runners pilled into a van, driving from checkpoint to checkpoint, while several of us share mile after mile together. Technically a relay involves one runner going out at a time, but we spend most legs with two, three, or four people running together. Why wouldn't we want to share that time together?
Most important of all, I was reminded of just how special it is to find a community of friends where you can truly be yourself. I feel safe to share anything and everything with them, feel like I belong, and feel like I'm completely at home piled into that increasingly dirty van or laughing and drinking a beer when it's all said and done. Everyone deserves to find a community where they can slip on the unicorn speedo and go streaking through the Iowa countryside!
