The life of a single person is great. Or at least, that’s what all the single people will have you believe, anyways. It’s amazing how we’re so excellent at convincing ourselves of some truth that we want to believe. “I am having so much fun drinking this glass of wine all by myself!” says the single person. But inside, there’s a raging storm. Every romantic click flick that you watch is an explosion of emotion. You find yourself sobbing quietly in the corner of the theater or in the secrecy of your room (if you’re a man) for some unknown reason. “OH MY GOSH IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL,” you manage to muster out in between sobs. What a pansy.
Stop crying (Don’t worry I’m crying too). It’s not all that bad. Here are the some things I keep telling myself over and over to feel better about being single. Maybe it’ll work for you?
#1. MONEY. This is the best aspect about being single! You get to save so much money! HAHAHA. haha. ha…Instead of having a bank account that ranges anywhere from $4 to -$50 (after the overdraft fee), you get to actually stock pile all that money you would have been spending on pointless things like dating, flowers, chocolates, diamond accessories (soooo damn expensive), expensive dinners, anniversaries, the dog (or other animal) that you buy at some point in the 1-2 year part of the relationship to convince yourselves that you’re super committed…
The list goes on and on. Dating is expensive. It takes sooo much money to be in a relationship! And the worst part is, if you break up, you don’t even get the crap you bought for the girl back. Marriage is, relative to dating, cheap. Cause once you’re married, you’ve got her so you don’t have to throw money at her anymore. hahaha.
And now all the girls who are reading this are thinking, “That’s strange…I don’t remember dating being that expensive…”
…..
That’s how I feel about that.
#2. FRIENDS. Most of us, when we start dating someone seriously, become magicians. We pull the disappearing act like professionals. One minute, you’re hanging out with all your friends. Dating starts and…BAM. Disappearing act. I have some friends right now that if they start calling/gchatting/texting me, the first thing I think is “is everything going alright in his/her relationship!?” And if it’s some hot girl, I start plotting of course…*ehem*.
Hahahaha. It goes back to Facebook stalking. When the girl’s “relationship status” changes, she’s suddenly bombarded with random facebook messages/emails/etc. from guys she hasn’t heard from in a very long time. “Hey…we haven’t talked in sooo long…we should get together some time…” I love how people think they are being sly when they do this. It’s so obvious!
But yes, it’s good to have friends. Until all of them start dating, and now you’re the only one who’s not dating someone. It gets especially bad when you start going to their weddings…alone.
Alone.
That’s about the point it starts to suck pretty bad.
#3. STARCRAFT 2. Okay okay, this doesn’t apply to everyone. But it’s video games/entertainment/hobbies in general. Whether you play SC2, or go out all the time, the bottom line is, if you’re not dating you can do anything you want without having to report to anyone! Once you start dating, your significant other is gonna wanna talk on the phone…and is going to start making passive/aggressive comments about why you “should or should not do this or that”. No dating = no passive/aggressive comments! “Honey, I think you should stop playing soo many video games…”
I never have to hear that! You know why? Because I’m single!
#4. THE LINES OF GUYS/GIRLS WHO ARE WAITING OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR TO DATE YOU. Unfortunately, I don’t suffer from this problem. Sigh.
Now, on the flip side, here are some reasons why being single absolutely.
#1. You’re Single. It gets old, really fast. It’s fun for a while. And then you realize that you’re just getting older, and older, and older…and those questions start to creep in…”Am I ever going to find someone?” Then you start to panic. Then you start to do crazy things you never thought you’d do before, like go out with the people your mom and dad try to set you up with, and join Eharmony and Match.com. Not that that’s ever…happened…to…me…yet…
#2. Having to watch OTHER people kissing/holding hands/going to the movies/etc. with their significant others. There is a special place in my heart that I reserve for these “Public Display of Affection” (PDA) people. It’s filled with bitterness, anger, jealousy, hate…
#3. Parents. Suddenly, it becomes their personal mission to find you a significant other. Every single person they meet that seems to be around your age, to them, is potential. “Why don’t you just date, so and so. I mean, he’s/she’s not that good looking but you’ll grow into him/her…” Being harassed by your parents non-stop is no fun. The best way to get out of this is just tell them you’re dating even though you’re not. Up until they want to meet the person, you should probably be okay?
#4. Weddings. It’s bad enough having to sit through a one hour wedding ceremony (SHOOT ME NOW), but then you have to sit through the 20-30 minute slide show (where you get to see HOW HAPPY THEY ARE NOW THAT THEY ARE TOGETHER), hear all the sappy songs being sung, and pretend like you’re happy for the person getting married (even though inside you’re super depressed)…
The worst part? When they ask you if you’re going to bring +1, and you don’t have a +1 to bring. Everyone else has a plus 1 except you. I promise. Even if they don’t, that’s how you’ll feel anyways.
#5. Valentine’s Day. Oh, how I hate you…
Conclusion
To be honest, there are pros and cons to being single and pros and cons to dating. I say, enjoy the season of life that you’re in right now; the grass is always greener on the other side. People who are dating wish they were single, and people who are single wish they were dating. Learn how to be content in all circumstances and situations, and life becomes that much sweeter.
Now. Can someone please give me the number of a girl I can reach so I CAN END THIS SINGLENESS ALREADY? I’m getting OLD MAN.
