Most of the people in the party industry must be high!I mean... I can only take so much of their nonsense, just like you can.
It's a pain in the ass to have to deal with this truth... the fact that some people in the party industry are seriously in denial.
Parties are supposed to be fun to plan and to have and it should be really no big deal to have one - for the most part, except it's not that way for most people who don't know how to produce a party that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
You should read the Reader Advisory: about Party Mad Monday posts before you go any further. It can sometimes get a bit dicey around here. I'm pretty miffed about how many of the party pros treat consumers. So, I want you to be advised about the language that you may find me using.
As far as I can tell, at no point in the juncture - thus far, is there is anybody else saying anything about this more than obvious and unjust fact, but me, the original Cater-Hater. But, I know that many of you agree that the party industry is in denial... and I know that's true because of the truth that whenever you've got a shindig to plan you're online, combing through various sites and blogs, looking for answers about how to do things yourself.
And here's the kicker. You'd think they'd wake up, get with it, and get it.
Agh! They're annoying. The party industry being in denial is simply annoying. And my biggest beef with them is that I hate that, for the most part, they don't consider you... the consumer, which of course is insane since they need you to be in business. Increasingly. I. Hate. Them. So, of course, I'm pissed. You might think that doesn't make any sense, especially since I'm a caterer and event planner, too. But just because that's true doesn't mean I agree with how they think and operate.
Recently, I overheard two catering business owners talking about their customers. It's a long story about how this happened, so I won't bore you with the gory details. But check this out. I truly was, immediately, taken aback. They were two forty-ish rather, uh, garishly dressed, large females (and trust me... I'm being super polite here, because they were what most would consider to be "grossly obese" and over-done in everything; their clothing, their jewelry, and wearing too much make-up). Normally, I wouldn't be so quick to mention the way people look, but these broads pissed me off - first, because they were talking about you guys. The nerve.
They, both, needed to look and the mirror and address their own faults before attempting to speak about what they considered to be yours. Their hair was too big. The make-up was over done. No one wears big hair anymore. I guess they didn't get the memo. Irregardless, the way I see it, their big hair got in the way of their brains, which apparently are tiny, and as a result there's been barely any room for them to think straight about their party customers. I mean... they had the mitigated gall to talk smack about you. Because they sure as hell didn't have any room to talk. And secondly, they pissed me off because - well, think about it like this... they think they have the taste to professionally plan parties for people and haven't looked in the mirror to see that they both look like disasters waiting to happen. And not just one of them, both of them; let alone one fucking over-done "Texas Princess". 
They were talking about you guys - complaining about how you're "too stupid to know a "sale", even if looked you in the mouth, cussed you out and knocked you down", to quote them verbatim. Yeah and get this... they were spouting their stupid opinions, tossing around their thoughts with a sense of entitlement - for me to overhear, as if it was "cute". And all I could think was, How can people be this mean and damned stupid about their customers? It never occurred to them that I didn't think like they do, and it sure wasn't like they gave a damn that I didn't. But, what was really getting on my nerves was the "loud" get-ups they were wearing and fact that they're some of what you have to look forward to for party advice. Scary. And parish the thought, right? 
One way to deal with stupidity... get drunk.
These kind of people make you want to grab a bottle of booze, drink it, and get "blotto drunk" and invite every cool person you know over to your place for a big, tie-one-on, "let's get bombed" cocktail party (so that you can try to forget how stupid they truly are).Both of these over made-up make-up mavens (that kind of appeared to be masquerading as party mavens) were loudly complaining to the other that they just couldn't understand why their party businesses weren't busier, especially since they'd placed ads in Valpak - no matter how many times they'd done so. Coupons, so-called "discounts" and their versions of "sales", blah blah blah and etc. is what they were discussing; one said she was even considering some kind of "open house" event to try to get more customers in the door. Now because I'm opposed to how these two idiots think, I spent about ten minutes biting my tongue. Goodness knows, I barely kept my mouth shut. Wanna take a guess what I did? I pretended to care about their businesses, just like they pretend to care about you guys, the party customers; asking them about their marketing; what kind of demographic they appeal to; what kind of events they typically plan and cater; how far away their customers were located, and, well, you get the idea. They both 'fessed up that neither one of them had a new customer in sight.
A little too much make-up... y'think?
As far as I could tell, about the only kind of clientele they would really appeal to would be the Tammy Faye Baker-looking kind of crowd; over-done with no taste. And since Tammy Faye is no longer with us (for those of you who never heard of her, she wasn't known for having good taste - that's for sure, and by the way, she died), their "dream customer" would be, who? The girl in the picture, for starters. And anyone on that order - wearing that much make-up, I reckon. The first one had powder blue eye shadow on, with blue mascara, and too much bronzer. The second one was wearing a big fake flower in her jumbo, super colossal over-teased hair with her lips sporting a bright pink looking Revlonsomethingorother type of lipstick, with a strange looking outlined lips that were outlined too dark. Then, I watched in amazement as the first one pulled out her compact and reapplied more foundation (bronzer, actually), that's right more make-up that she already used too much of to make her skin look tan (she also applied more lipstick, arh!). I gathered from their conversation, this was a daily occurrence (the make-up and complaining part... I don't think even these women could have used all the cosmetics sold at a Neiman Marcus make-up counter in just one day, but you never know, I could be wrong!).Being an acute observer of human beings - specifically in this instance, party industry types, not to fail to mention trained and experienced in wearing make-up (on and off camera, as a twenty-three year member of SAG and AFTRA; Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Radio & TV Artists), I applied my training and my experience to the situation. Problem: failure to have taste - both in parties and actual make-up wearing, in everyday life. Available strange data: they "have style", are "party experts", and read all the style guides for fashion and make-up, and all of the party industry insider trade publications (which, as you all know, are guaranteed to teach you how to have class and a keen sense of style or your money back... not!). What I concluded: Party industry-denial is clearly enormously alarming. The solution: continue current business marketing concepts until business wanes to the point whereby, bit-by-bit, you lose customers, followed by permanent business closure.
Denial looks about as "right" as this sofa does.
This kind of over-the-top, self delusion pisses me off. And it's seriously a problem if you don't know or understand why. You could argue that it's really none of my business, but I'm sorry, I beg to differ. Their denial and their delusions of what looks good and what taste is make others in the party business (like me) look bad. So, yes, it is (my business). Look, I understand that good taste is in the eye of the beholder. I really do. I understand that some people struggle with trying to pick party themes and decor, and I absolutely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or insult anyone. But these women were out of control, and really scary. I highly doubt you'd want to hire them.I understand that there are certain people who would appreciate their taste and style and completely enjoy whatever party designs they might create. I'm not trying to be insensitive to any consumers here. Really. But dammit, there just ain't no way in hell either of these women are ever going to be taken seriously. Ever. Not with all of the Maybelline gift cards in the world and our all of heads full of wishful thinking. The one was talking about buying more make-up (no, really... please don't!). More make-up, without being taught a thing in make-up class. Scary. To her, this apparently is a better solution to her lack of getting more customers in the door than, oh I don't know, putting a true effort into learning how to actually appeal to more consumers, washing off her make-up every night so that her mascara doesn't look piled on, or leaving the gaudy blue powder eye shadow in the 50's, and I'm not even going to mention the pink lipstick again.
Myself, I never really had their exact problem. Make-up-wise, I could apply make-up and draw eyeliner as perfectly as the day is long. And, as long as I maintained a reasonable level of party design decorum (which in the party world, doesn't always happen) my customers were pleased and pretty much "constant" (believe me, I know this isn't the case for everybody). But, now that I'm focused more on "information" and not nearly as active producing parties as I used to be, especially as I get into my upper
If I feel like I have to have a lot of "frou-frou" at a party, I step back from it for a while, deciding later what to present to my client. No, this isn't a hard and fast rule, if I'm doing the work and churning out a lot of great ideas, especially if I'm working on something that will take place outdoors, where it could be cold; when I will usually have Plan A and Plan B. Otherwise, I end up driving myself nuts - presenting too many ideas. I try like the dickens to present a decent priced event, but admittedly, because I'm used to wealthy clients, I can get carried away. To save money on the menu, I sometimes don't plan a desert, except if it's a special occasion. And I usually try to plan something extremely cost-efficient; a party planned for the morning, instead of in the evening, a breakfast or brunch or something along those lines. It's not just about a party, it's about a party and a customers finances and lifestyle. Parties are something you do temporarily, lifestyle is permanent - that's why what it's best to consider the cost, first, which is most important. Do I miss being able to plan parties without financial consequence? Heck yeah, you bet. But I'm not wealthy (Yet), so I completely understand how it feels to want the best of the best and not be able to afford it - but that's just the way it is, until things change and you can get what you want. Is it always easy? Sometimes, but for the most part... no. But, it does get easier as time goes by and as the reality of today's economy dictates change. The bottom line is this, if you want to be taken seriously, loose the attitude, and loose the blue eye shadow and the pink lipstick lip-lined lips too. Seriously. There just isn't any other way around it. All the wishful thinking in the damn world isn't going to help you when you're known to have "no taste" and you're loosing customers and doing nothing but wearing too much make-up and complaining about it - unless you're running a race with your over made-up friend to see who can go out of business the fastest.
Clearly, some people in the party industry are seriously in denial. It's just about being fair with other peoples money, basic common and sense, doing the right thing, and good 'ol design style.
*****
I do this... I write to help to create to opportunities for all of you who choose to pursue your passion to have parties, also taking into account today's economic constraints.
I think if we keep talking about the cost of parties (I write the blog posts, you write comments), together, maybe we can break down some of the party industry's price barriers and shame some of the people who've taken your money and delivered a poor quality product right into growing a conscious and treating you right (nice thought, huh?).
Opportunities to be inspired about parties are everywhere. Yet, people looking out for your wallet are few and far between. My goal is to inspire you, causing you to question the way things are that have been the status quo for too long. When we stand together and speak up, we can be a powerful force.
Let's keep the conversation of change going. Because in the sea of everyone talking, one voice is a whisper... several voices are a scream.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, ideas and suggestions below. Remember to be as specific as possible because what you have to say helps us all.
Always... be encouraged and encourage others too,
“Truthbomb #240: We need you.” - Danielle LaPorte
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