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The phone/tablet race has turned into a smartwatch race. It began in earnest with the Pebble. Then there were a plethora of Android smartwatches and finally Apple released their much anticipated Apple Watch.
They are all, to a varying degree, a remarkable feat of engineering and innovation. Some look very, very cool – the Apple Watch, as you would expect, the coolest of the lot.
But are they really smart? We don’t think so.
Look at me!
A really smart watch.
Let’s start with a direct comparison to a watchwatch. Given that they are built for the wrist to do ONE job – allow you to know what time it is – there is a lot of room for watch designers to play wit the aesthetics. And they have, to the point where watchwatches can be utterly beautiful. Breitling, Cartier, Michael Kors and, of course, Rolex are all at the top of their game in design.
Compare them to smartwatches and there’s no competition. Only the Apple Watch comes close on looks, but it’s to big, too clunky, too heavy. They have to be because they’re being asked to do more than one job. So if you’re after wrist candy then a smartwatch is a dumb choice.
It’s time…
When it comes to telling the time watchwatches and smartwatches do the job. With the former it’s analog or digital, with the latter it’s the same, but with a myriad of fancy options in colour, design and the like, all displayed quite nicely on their screens. But can you justify forking out a small fortune on something that will allow you to tell the time in several colours? Besides, there are plenty of watchwatches that can offer that if you really want – at a significantly lower price point.
Technology and software
It is, of course, all the other things you can do with your smartwatch that sets them apart from watchwatches. From measuring your health to receiving notifications of new emails, updates and a shit tonne of other things via apps. All in conjunction with your smartphone.
Which is dumb. In order for a smartwatch to be effective you kind of have to have your phone with you. Which makes having a smartwatch, well, DUMB!
At best those notifications will become an annoyance, at worst you’ll ignore them in favour of your smartphone. Which is actually smart.
What we’re trying to say here is that while the various manufacturers have worked technological and engineering wonders to create smartwatches, no-one has really given any thought as to why you might want one. Not even Apple. There’s just no point. Every job it does is done better by another piece of equipment. Time? Watches. Phone? Phone. Apps? Phone. All of it. And by equipment that you will always have with you, smartwatch or not.
Aside from the health tracking benefits of a smartwatch – which we admit is truly a breakthrough given the number of things that can be tracked – everything else is pointless.
And the battery life sucks too, so even if you do like wearing it you’ll pretty soon find it spends most of its time plugged in, not making a garish statement on your wrist.
The bottom line is this. Smartwatches are unwieldy, pointless, annoying and unattractive. They’re dumb. Until someone finds a way to make these things useful – I mean really useful to the man and woman in the street and not just a toy for the rich and/or stupid – then they will remain dumb.
Stick to your iPhone and Casio, folks, and don’t waste your money on a something that sounds like a great idea but has no real practical use.
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