Dating Magazine

Slow Down: The Benefit of Taking Things Slow

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Slow Down: The Benefit of Taking Things Slow

taking things slowIn a nutshell, I met my ex in February. He proposed in May and we got married in October. It’s amazing because presently, I still can’t answer the question “why did we move so fast?” or “why didn’t we take things slower? I can only say that moving fast was one hell of a lesson learned. I was surprised that it lasted as long as it did, but had I really had my eyes open; it would’ve been over much sooner. This is definitely an example of what not to do. There are major benefits from taking things slow!

Last year, one of my Facebook friends whom I don’t know personally sent me a private message. He began to express how he was going through a break up and how hard it was for him to get over this woman. I have no idea why he chose me, but at some point we all need someone to just listen. I let him vent, get it out, speak his peace, and then I told him my feelings. “There is no magical cure for a broken heart, the only thing that heals a broken heart is time”. A few months later he was dating someone else; a month after that he married her. My Facebook buddy didn’t waste any time! There was no taking it slow in this case.

I once heard that what starts fast, ends fast. And I happened to think there’s some truth to that. There are times when we’re so eager to have someone in our life that we don’t take the time to question whether or not this person is really good for us. We jump head first into a relationship and then a few months down the line we think to ourselves “what have I gotten myself into?” This is some Bullshit!!! The reason why people move so fast varies, they’re either trying to get over someone, eager to have someone, or they just have a horrible pattern of moving fast. You hear that little voice in your head that tells you to slow down and you completely ignore it. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

When we take our time on projects they often come out much better than they would have if we rushed. When we cook a meal or go to a restaurant we know that food that has been slow cooked is often much more tasty. If you think about it, anything that we rush to do usually has a flaw or some type of error. So why wouldn’t we apply the same method to our love life?

One thing that we all forget is that during the initial first stages of dating and/or relationships we go through that giddy stage. This is especially true if we find we have a lot in common with that person. Life is grand, we’re oh so close, we’re skipping around singing love songs, and we ignore their flaws. And then life happens! Situations change, feelings change, and people change. The romance is gone, the skipping has stopped, your boo is working your nerves, and you start to feel like something is missing. The main benefit of taking things slow is that you can fall in love with a person slowly to obtain a sustainable relationship. You get the opportunity to really SEE the person you’re dealing with. And you can make a solid decision as to whether someone is right for you. Taking things slow is a good thing!

Sometimes we end up with people who look good on paper, have all their ducks in a row, they’re physically attractive, and you may even have more than a few things in common. However, they do absolutely nothing for our heart. Ultimately, we all should strive for someone who touches our heart and I consider that a benefit. Otherwise, what’s the point? What did the turtle teach us? Slow and steady wins the race.

Have you ever moved to fast?

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