Diaries Magazine

Slapping on the War Paint and My Grown up Clothes for a Few Weeks

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Today I start working 6 days a week for the next 4 weeks.  I will be layering on the war paint, sizzling my frizzy 'do into submission, and dusting off my grown up clothes.

Slapping on the war paint and my grown up clothes for a few weeks

That's me. If I was blonde. Or CEO. Or a turtleneck fan

In the lead up, I was frazzled, panicked, scared even.  I was positive I'd forget appointments or show up late to school thanks to traffic and bad hair days, or send at least one of us to school/daycare/work without undies.  Dirty undies don't count if they're turned inside out, right? I know, there are squillions of parents out there who work, some even do it solo. I am not capable of either, in my estimation.
It was a trade off with my boss for a Saturday off to go to the Digital Parents Conference (next month...OMG!), followed not a month later with another Saturday off to go to Bali and review an all-inclusive resort (OMG OMG OMG TIMES A SQUILLION....Cocktail staff : get your game on, I'm a comin!), and 3 Saturday's off over Christmas and New Year while we go spend another Christmas in Bali, because between #1 Nana and I, we are totally over this female-organised festive season shit.
So when my boss came to me and was all "I'm going on my honeymoon...interested in working Monday - Friday as well as your usual Saturday?" I was all like...hells yeah, extra cocktail and shopping money! Without actually thinking through the logistics of it.  Or realising exactly how long she was going away for. Such is my way through life, really - work out if/how something will impact on or enable my cocktail consumption, then jump in before thinking. Totally worked for me so far *ahem*. About a week ago, my apprehension was replaced with anticipation as I battle toilet training the Twin Tornado, who fool me into thinking they've totally mastered it, before crapping on my celebratory parade...literally.
I have made an insane number of ham, chicken and cheese sandwiches and stuffed one entire freezer with them.  We're doomed if they hate on these sandwich fillings.  They'll have to take dry 2 minute noodles every day instead.

Slapping on the war paint and my grown up clothes for a few weeks

Hey kids, guess what's for lunch again today?

I made three batches of pancakes - all with different fillings, so I can whip them out of the freezer and shove them at the kids on the way to school and daycare on the days that we don't have time for cereal.  I'm pre-empting frequent mornings panicking that somehow two hours have escaped me and nobody is ready.  When the pancakes have gone and the cereal's still on the shelf, I will resort to muesli bars. I have planned every evening meal, and it doesn't involve a single drive thru or phone order.  I make no promises about avoiding the use of canned goods for entire meals, or meals that are completely prepared in a single pot of boiling water. I expect this awesome planning and display of domestic brilliance to last for approximately 4 days.  By Sunday I will be completely screwed, and relying on the month of sandwiches intended for packed lunches, as dinners.
Slapping on the war paint and my grown up clothes for a few weeks
Before I sign off at 5am and start getting ready to leave the house in just over 3 hours, the winner of the Kellogg's LCMs Write on Wrappers prize pack is Jane, for providing me with a legitimate tip to dose up on booze, caffeine and sedatives in the AM, in order to cope with the morning chaos. GOLD! I'll think of you all while I'm sitting in my peaceful, solo office, sipping regular flat white's from the beloved coffee machine. Sigh.

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By FruityLOGIC Design
posted on 11 January at 03:21
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thanks, i agree that the grand mirage bali was nice hotel