Religion Magazine

Self Preservation–Quality Control in My Relationships

By Jenrene


Quality Control: Self Preservation

- When I moved to Gaithersburg Maryland about six years ago  –  I was set on beginning to life a new life, without incident. I had just gotten divorced and was gung ho  about starting my life anew, and excited about being in this state of mind and being. The only problem was, I really didn’t realize I had such  a HIGE amount of pride and selfish ambition. I was trying to preserve my life, by  “keeping it safe.” – from everyone and everything.

I wasn’t doing anything unusual. Most women can have a tendency to retreat when things are not going well.   I had a friend mention during this time that I was what she considered to be a very “sweet”: person, but not one who is able to  be very affectionate nor warm with others. She said she saw this side in me desiring to be set free. I listened, but I didn’t acknowledge I was hurting and in pain from relationships.  I was not very warm and full of warm-fuzzies at the time, because I felt  stagnate. I had a really bad attitude  at the time, too. I thought Maryland was my “back up plan.”.  I wanted to work and was anxious to find it, but God wanted me to  SERVE.  And not only that he wanted me to learn how  to RECEIVE

- Serving is receiving. These two principles are interrelated. Let me tell you how.

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