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Sarcastic Questions About The “800 Year-Old” “Mobile Phone”

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

The Guardian reports that likely hoaxers claim to have found an 800-year-old mobile phone made out of clay. The “phone” buttons have ancient cuneiform characters, and the model looks a lot like an old Nokia phone. Apparently the idea is that someone made the phone out of clay 800 years ago because time-travelers or aliens showed them one.

So as a result we are seeing clickbait today suggesting this proves time travel exists… in response, we have:

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

  1. As Microsoft now owns Nokia mobile, is Microsoft responsible for this hoax? We can’t think of anyone else imagining someone in the future would use a Nokia/Microsoft phone using an ancient language nobody cares about.
  2. If your kids cover the top of your old typewriter in Play-doh, and your dog buries the resulting Play-doh keyboard replica in the backyard, does that prove time travel is real? Answer: not unless the dog goes back in time a few hours and erases dumb news stories about 800-year-old clay phones and uses the clay typewriter to type a real news story.*
  3.  “Can you hear me now?” If by now, you mean “2016” the answer is no, we can’t hear you from the future from a phone made of clay. But apparently the news media can hear and publish your story, so congratulations!

*If so, you have a smart journalist dog. We suggest renaming him “Anderson Pooper.”

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