In contemporary taco shop discourse, an establishment is best judged by the integrity of its salsa bar. This rectangular vessel, complete with sneeze guards and tiny plastic to-go cups, is the Mexican-American Ark of the Covenant. A symbol of freedom and a harbinger of persecution, depending on the context and the clientele. Surrounding it is a heated debate that centers on which salsas to include, which pickled vegetables, and how to deal with customers who take advantage of the communal system.
A clusterf**k, no doubt. But there are a few general rules that apply to every respectable salsa bar from San Francisco to the San Diego border. The following list highlights a few of them. It is by no means exhaustive, nor is it based on any scientific research, whatsoever.
Rule #1: A minimum of 4 salsas. One hot, one mild, one green, and one chunky.
Rule #2: Something spicy and pickled. Could be carrots, could be jalapeños.
Rule #3: Lime wedges. Because fish tacos require more than one, stupid.
Rule #4: To-go cups. With lids that fit properly. You’d think this was common sense.
Rule #5: No limit. No handwritten signs that charge for extra. This one’s personal.
Few taco shops embody all five of these rules. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands and roast your own goddam chilies. Homemade salsa is much easier than you think, as long as you own a blender or food processor or have more than two friends. Quite satisfying, too. But the best part is the unimposed limit on consumption. And maybe the lack of sneeze guards.
Ingredients:
1 pound fresh tomatillo peppers
3 garlic cloves
1 serrano chili
1 lime
1/2 red onion
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp sea salt
Directions: Turn oven to broiler setting. Arrange the tomatillos, garlic, and serrano chili on a baking sheet and broil 5-10 minutes, until blackened and soft. Remove from heat and place in blender or food processor. Add remaining ingredients and process until smooth. Add salt, to taste.
