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Republican National Convention: Day 1 Preview

Posted on the 28 August 2012 by Anthonyhymes @TheWrongWing

A gavel dropped in a nearly empty arena yesterday in Tampa as the GOP symbolically opened their National Convention amidst Tropical Storm Isaac which is currently aiming directly for New Orleans. Early reports from the 16,000 journalists in Tampa centered on boredom, while Mitt Romney’s sons said it was a wonderful atmosphere filled with camaraderie. Either way, the big guns are getting squeezed into a shortened line up, and the two biggest names speaking today are Ann Romney and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

republican national convention

They support you, but they don’t love you

But before we get to the speakers, the security team is enforcing a nearly 8 square mile no-gun zone around the convention and events, explicitly for safety. Yesterday, a student in Maryland brought a gun to his first day on school and shot another student dead. So the people who force America to adhere to the second amendment, no matter how outdated, dangerous, and sad it is, can decide to suspend the Constitution for safety reasons, while our children can’t be safe at schools. Thr hypocrisy is disgusting. Republicans cannot continue to selectively support laws for themselves while forcing uniformity upon other groups.

Back to the speakers. Ann Romney is on the line up to give her personal endorsement of her husband. Not a huge surprise there, but what Ann offers is a bit of humanity to Romney’s robotics. She will try to position Mitt as a leader who is capable of managing a large family, resisting temptation and social pressure (like going to work without a cup of coffee, or three), and executing and outperforming the goals that he sets for himself.

Chris Christie, who many are claiming will fire up the conservative Tea Party faction, is really only there because he is a fat man who can speak well. None, we repeat, none of the other speakers appearing is as overweight as Christie, and considering that he has done nothing other than rail against Obama in his tenure as Governor, he can only be there to energize and motivate the majority of Americans whose weight might prevent them from getting up to make it to the polls.

It might sound terrible to say it out loud, but there are almost no overweight national politicians. In order for someone to get to that level, they must be extremely driven, motivated, and busy, three things that usually prevent people from gaining lots of weight. Another thing is money. National politicians are also much wealthier than the average American, and can afford to eat higher quality, more expensive food than the nation’s poor who are trapped in food deserts where the only variation between meals is whether the burger comes from Wendy’s, McDonald’s, or Burger King. Christie, however, has managed to become Governor and be fat, which could connect well with over-weight, out-of-shape Republicans who are turned off by Paul Ryan’s extreme exercise regime and ripped figure.

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