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Report: Bank To Charge For Deposits

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

The Wall Street Journal reports that JP Morgan will be charging large clients, such as hedge funds for deposits because new rules make holding these deposits unprofitable.

You see, unlike It’s A Wonderful Life, the world does not have a Jimmy Stewart to convince hedge funds to not pull their money out of the banks in a crisis. So the banks can’t lend out hedge funds’ money to make more money…

Reportedly, this will not effect retail accounts, wink, wink. ;)

3 Services We Don’t Want To See Banks Charge For

1. Waiting in line behind people who don’t know how to do internet banking or use bank machines.

2. Making jokes about people who don’t know how to use bank machines while waiting in line. Because why are you in line, Smarty? Oh, you need to buy some foreign currency. Never mind.

3. Hidden fees related to losing hedge fund clients by giving them an incentive to not keep their deposits in a bank. Fingers *crossed* that this type of predictable fee will never happen…


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